Post Date April, 15 2023
American marriage expert Wenger Julie wrote in "The Law of Happy Marriage" that even the happiest marriages in this world have 200 thoughts of divorce and 50 thoughts of strangling each other in their lifetime.
Love is romantic, but marriage is real. The healthy growth of every big tree requires accepting sunlight and also tolerating wind and rain. Every happy marriage requires careful management. How to prevent marriage from becoming the tomb of love? As long as you do these three things well, your marriage will become happier and more interesting.
Maintain independence and grow together
My cousin is a woman whom I particularly admire.
Last year, as soon as I graduated, I married my boyfriend who had been talking to me for three years. After marriage, my cousin started living as a full-time wife with a husband and a son.
There are many full-time wives around them, who only have their husbands and children left in their married world. They worry about gains and losses all day and are burdened by family chores and mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationships. They have devoted all their time, energy, and emotions to the family, becoming the most disliked yellow faced women in the past.
My cousin, who has also entered marriage, still lives like a cardamom girl, full of charm in every move and gesture.
Later, I learned that since my marriage, my cousin has always adhered to her hobby of writing in college at home, constantly learning to write and submit articles. At present, she works as an associate editor of a well-known magazine, and she also works as a part-time yoga instructor in the gym when she has time.
This job gave her confidence and even more respect from her family. On weekends, I went shopping with my little sisters to buy clothes, bags, and cosmetics,
Or go on a party trip to buy a birthday gift for your father-in-law and mother-in-law, even if your cousin doesn't have to reach out and ask your husband for money. Whether economically or spiritually, my cousin lives proudly and independently.
In the previous schedule, my brother-in-law took my cousin to participate in the company exhibition forum. The brother-in-law on stage was mature, steady, and successful in his career, while the cousin off stage was shining with exquisite beauty. Their eyes intertwined, their love was full, and they unconsciously showed a sense of happiness, enviing others.
There is a saying in "Jane Eyre": "Love is a game that must always be evenly matched with the other party in order to rely on each other for the long term, because too strong opponents make people tired, and too weak opponents make people tired
So in this' game ', truly happy marriages are interdependent but independent of each other. The vast majority of enviable happy marriages are not as simple as they seem. More importantly, it relies on two people growing and loving each other synchronously.
Understand tolerance and communicate well.
Colleague Xiaoxiao and her husband got to know each other on a blind date under the introduction of their parents. When her husband chased after her, they spent a lot of time and energy. The family and friends around them were all witnesses of their love. But after being together, there were more and more arguments and contradictions between the two.
After getting married, her mother-in-law urged her to have a child again, so Xiaoxiao quickly became a mother. Postpartum depression, coupled with her husband's inability to take care of her during a period of career advancement, caused her to become irritable,
I often get angry with my husband over trivial matters.
My husband and friends go out for a drink, and she needs to check on duty at any time. She went home late with no battery on her phone and needs to investigate the reason. Please drop off your female colleague on the way home, she wants to be noisy and entangled. After several arguments, my husband slammed the door and walked out, leaving nothing but a small cry.
But she was full of grievances and complained to me, "I didn't want him to accompany me and the baby more when he came home for his own good. He had a bad stomach and was afraid that he might drink too much to hurt his body. He also couldn't get through the phone late at home and was worried that he might have an accident. It's not bad to send his female colleague home, but he lied and was exposed
My husband also quickly explained, "After having a baby, I just want to work harder to give them a better life. Drinking alcohol is also because work requires social interaction and cannot be avoided. Sometimes when I am busy outside the market, I do not take into account that my phone is dead, and it is wrong to send my female colleague home to lie and make up excuses,
But also afraid of her wild thoughts
Two people, clearly for the sake of each other's good, cannot calmly sit down and reveal their feelings, communicate well and express themselves. This kind of marriage causes both parties to suffer.
You should know that marriage is about two people living together. When encountering grievances and dissatisfaction, you should fully trust each other, think from different perspectives, give each other opportunities, and communicate well to listen to their grievances. Mutual tolerance and understanding are the gentlest parts of love, and this kind of marriage life is harmonious and fulfilling.
Understand romance and praise each other.
Previously, I read a news on Weibo that He Haiqin, a teacher at a teacher's college in Jiangsu, is particularly popular in class. She is full of energy and energy, and her classmates affectionately call her "grandma".
In Grandma He's final class, which was about to retire, her husband came to the classroom and gave Grandma He a carefully prepared bouquet of flowers. After class, she kindly helped Grandma He tidy up her teaching aids,
Taking photos with the students as souvenirs, the two of them laughed the whole time like the children, and finally rode their bikes home together.
Special days, romantic flowers, thoughtful photos, happy smiles With the company of a loved one, ordinary small things become a sense of ceremony. Watching the two of them cycling away, there was a feeling of a flower on the lapel and a calm breeze of time.
I also have a model couple around me who value a sense of ceremony. Every morning, the husband prepares a love breakfast, and the wife arranges clothes for the other party before going out.
The wife will prepare a cup of honey water for him when he is busy with social activities and comes home drunk. When he is sick, she will cook a millet porridge. The husband will carefully prepare a small gift for her birthday. He will buy a bunch of roses on the way to buy vegetables at the weekend.
The wife bought a new dress, but the husband immediately discovered it and stood behind him praising for a long time. On his husband's birthday, his wife gave him a new pair of shoes, and he praised his wife for her vision. The shoes looked very nice For a long time, we have been in contact, and of course, as the days pass, we become more and more beautiful.
It can be seen that the beauty of marriage is composed of these subtle moments one after another. These seemingly insignificant rituals can numb the fatigue and troubles in ordinary life, remind us in marriage to be grateful and cherish, use romance and praise to rediscover the love and attachment of first love, hold the hand of our son, and grow old together.
In a happy marriage, independent growth, understanding and tolerance, and romantic praise are all three indispensable factors.
Marriage is a matter for both parties, so please manage your marriage with care and dedication. As promised in the past, we will jointly shoulder the responsibilities and obligations entrusted to us by marriage: to be filial to our parents, to teach our children, to respect and love each other, to trust and encourage each other, to understand and compromise with each other, to support each other, and to love each other for a lifetime.
