Post Date December, 03 2023
Arguments seem to be an inevitable phenomenon in marital life, with a variety of factors inducing them.
A US survey has found that the main "trigger" for couples' "war" is the issue of children.
Multiple causes
The survey results show that the average couple quarrels once every two days. The most controversial issues among them are issues related to children, such as who should take care of them, who should educate them, and what impact parents' bad habits will have on their children.
Household chores such as shopping and household chores are the second main factor causing marital disputes. Next is the communication issue. In addition, the couple will also argue over issues such as spare time, relatives, work, and friends.
Surprisingly, despite the current financial crisis, only 18% of couples argue over money, ranking sixth among various reasons. However, because economic issues are often difficult to quickly resolve, they are the most far-reaching and severe factor affecting marital relationships.
On the 22nd, the BBC website quoted psychologist Paula Hale as saying that the argument stems from differences of opinion. However, if both parties can be patient and use basic communication skills, the "war" can be quickly quelled.
Deep excavation
Hal analyzed that couples' daily quarrels may be influenced by their early lives.
For example, if a partner is punished for gardening from an early age for doing something wrong, after marriage, she or he may become angry when asked to mow the lawn by her partner.
In addition, a couple arguing may indicate that they are secretly "fighting" in their relationship. "For example, if two people argue over who pays the bill, it means they are arguing over who should be responsible and who has the dominant power," Hal said; Arguing over household chores represents an unrealized need for both "respect" and "value".
For some couples, arguing from time to time is beneficial to marital stability, as it may be the only way for them to exchange views with each other. A harmless little fight can also add some "spice" to their marriage and make each other pay more attention to each other.
However, Hal cautions that quarrels often arise from deep causes. If problems cannot be identified and resolved early, marital life will continue to be burdened with arguments.
Avoid children
British Secretary of State for Children, Primary and Secondary School and Family Affairs Beverly Hughes said earlier that couples arguing in front of their children can bring more pressure and impact to their children than they think.
A two-year survey of "Happy Childhood" in the UK shows that children value family harmony more than their parents. 70% of children believe that the most important thing at home is for their parents to be together, love each other, and get along well, but only 30% of adults hold this view.
Therefore, Hughes said, parents should realize that a child's sense of security comes largely from their parents' relationships. When encountering problems, parents should not hide from their children. The important thing is to "show that they have the confidence to solve the problem and are working together". Do not argue endlessly about certain issues in front of the child.
