Post Date December, 03 2023
Due to family upheaval, I dropped out of high school in my first year at the age of 17 and began to rely on myself. I came to work in the city and went through several restaurants before finally settling down in a small restaurant. After experiencing hardships, I long for family affection and love. In my imagination, love must be pure and flawless, faithful and unwavering. For this expectation, I have always stood firm as a jade.
And the appearance of chef Yu Ziyang caught my attention. At the age of twenty-six or seven, Yu Ziyang looked a bit shy. When the boss introduced him to his colleagues, he humorously teased him and said, "How does such a handsome young man look like a big girl? Fortunately, I didn't invite you to be a waiter, otherwise the female customer wouldn't have kidnapped you?" The words made Yu Ziyang blush. But I think this man is very cute.
Later, I learned that Yu Ziyang was from Jieshou City and after graduating from high school, he studied as a chef at the provincial technical school for three years. With that certificate, he once applied for a job at a hotel in a coastal city with a monthly salary of 5000 or 6000 yuan. The reason why he is now bowing down in this restaurant in the small town is said to be due to his concern for his wife who is about to give birth. Every Sunday afternoon, the boss would make him go home to visit according to the appointment.
Based solely on these, I have added some admiration to him from the bottom of my heart, but often a few strands of sourness appear without reason. In my mind, a man like Yu Ziyang who knows both cold and hot, is the ideal husband for the future. As a result, I unconsciously developed a special sense of familiarity towards him.
In his rare leisure time in the restaurant, Yu Ziyang never puts on the airs of a chef, often quietly helping out my portion of the staff. His humorous and friendly speech often made everyone laugh heartily. I have thought more than once, how wonderful it would be if I had a brother like Yu Ziyang! Based on the girl's intuition, I feel that Yu Ziyang also likes himself very much. So when he learned about my desolate background, he couldn't help but be deeply moved. He said, "Swallow, you will be my sister from now on
I have never experienced first love before. During my time with Ziyang, I felt joy and sadness that I had never experienced before. Sometimes, I foolishly think that if only Ziyang were a woman, then I would have a close friend in my boudoir. Unfortunately, he is not.
One day in July of the same year, during my lunch break, I couldn't sleep anymore and quietly sneaked into Ziyang's single bedroom dormitory. Watching him sleeping soundly in the air conditioning, my heart was filled with admiration. I took out nail polish from my pocket and secretly painted his toenails silver pink. When I excitedly pressed his fingers flat and wanted to apply nail polish, Ziyang suddenly sat up and threw me into his arms. That noon, we stole the forbidden fruit of youth.
Afterwards, when Ziyang sincerely repented and said "I'm sorry," I covered his mouth with tears. I said to him, "Ziyang, I am so happy. Being with the man I like is enough
From then on, we cannot accept it once we send it. Three months later, his wife gave birth to a baby girl, and Ziyang became unhappy. But when I said I wanted to give him a son, he said, "Swallow, don't say silly things. You're a girl, you can't do anything about it." Then he sighed and said, "Ailian (his wife) is also a good woman, and I can't abandon their mother and daughter without conscience. That way, I won't hurt you alone
Although what Ziyang said was reasonable, my heart couldn't help but feel a sense of desolation. Although he keeps saying he loves me, he still refuses to leave me a place in his marriage. In his heart, the most concerned person is still his wife and daughter. And I am just an antidote to his loneliness. It seems that my existence can only alleviate his desires, and my love has no use for him!
(Intern Editor: Cai Junyi)
