Post Date April, 15 2023
I met Ah Dong in Shanghai and he expressed his desire for love to me. After hesitating for two or three days, I even sought advice from my friends. They all said that I was too lucky and quietly found a wealthy man. I called my parents, and they didn't have any objections. They just wanted to see him. We immediately flew to our hometown in Shaanxi, and he left the best impression on my parents, so this matter was decided.
Not long after, Ah Dong transferred me from school to Beijing, which is a archives department of the Price Bureau. He said that the work here is easy and the treatment is the best. Then, on May 1st of that year, we held a grand wedding in Beijing.
Shortly after getting married, I resigned from the Price Bureau. Because I don't understand business, and his company's driver picks up and delivers cars every day, the cars are even more beautiful than the director's special car, which often causes discussions among colleagues in the unit and makes me very upset, so I left. Ah Dong didn't blame me, but instead comforted me by saying that it's actually good to be at home and do more things that he likes.
Ah Dong is a rare good person. I respect him, love him, and trust him, but if I ask if I love him or not, it's difficult for me to say clearly. What qualification do I have not to love him? He dotes on me, loves me, and is busy until around 11 pm every day for this family, allowing me to enjoy the most abundant material life and accommodate all my shortcomings. He did everything that a model husband should do, but this is not the love I want. The love I want is like fire, which can ignite me, or like water, which can completely submerge me. I feel afraid of my own ideas. But I dare not tell Adon, and I don't have time to do so.
At this moment, I met Zhai Ping.
Our house needs to be renovated again, and Zhai Ping led a large group of migrant workers who were hired by my husband through an intermediary company. He has long hair, messy like a chicken coop, and very thin. I often refer to him as the "arrogant body" later on because he is thin and powerful, like a bone supporting a clothes. My husband happened to be going to Japan for a meeting that few days, and it would take him over twenty days to come back. We became familiar with each other in this way. I deeply admire his profound insight into life. We talked in the living room, from morning to dusk, completely forgetting what fatigue is.
I cannot control my body to approach him, and my heart is also approaching him. That's exactly what he thought, so on a rainy night, we had dinner together. In order to have a peaceful conversation again, I took away the kind nanny. That night, he stayed.
The next day, I told him that he should take me away. And he is afraid that my husband will pursue it. I scolded him for not having any manly spirit, and he couldn't help my nagging and left the city with me. Before leaving, I also took 20000 yuan in cash at home, which is enough for us to spend for a while.
However, life is cruel after all. In this unfamiliar city, we quickly spent all our money, and Zhai Ping had no interpersonal relationships or found a suitable job in this city. Day after day, he sighed and sighed at me. I had to find a job in the supermarket as soon as possible, but his monthly income was not enough to be squandered by him. After spending all the money, he started hitting me, scolding me, saying I'm incompetent, and saying I'm nothing.
I finally regret my choice and want to return to my husband's side. Until today, I only realized how much my husband loves me, and that his kindness to me cannot be given by anyone except my parents. But what face do I have to return to him? He has already learned about my elopement with Zhai Ping, and the nanny must have told him. So, what should I do now? How can I make up for my mistake, who can tell me?
(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)
