Post Date April, 15 2023
My wife and I have been married for six years, and we have just passed our wedding anniversary. Our days are still prosperous, and everything feels so happy. But one night a few days ago, my wife fell asleep while chatting on WeChat. I helped her turn off the phone, but I saw her chatting with her cousin on the screen. This was a bolt from the blue for me, and my wife actually cheated!
From the chat content, I learned that my wife and her boss, a young company manager, had multiple sexual experiences. I had no access to the early chat records, but I only knew that I had made my wife very distressed and talked to my cousin. Later, I readily accepted it without any guilt. Looking at the straightforward chat content, my heart was torn! "I resisted my anger and didn't get angry, just because I thought our three year old daughter was so cute and didn't want to give her a broken home!"!
Perhaps there is something wrong with me in this unfortunate relationship. The reason for the flash marriage was that at the beginning of my marriage, I lacked a sense of responsibility for my family, and I had a period of infidelity with a woman. Later, she found out that she had endured all the humiliation and betrayal on my own, and still remained with me, even though I had been begging hard!
Since then, I have only matured and tried my best to remedy her frozen heart! From the early days when she didn't let me touch his body, to slowly accepting it, to the birth of a child, and walking down year after year, she finally felt like walking out of this shadow and living a sweet life again!
As the child grew up, we chose to live at her parents' house for the convenience of taking care of the child. Various frictions in life ensued, mainly in terms of the child's care, discipline, and sharing of household chores. In the face of his parents' complaints, she was tired of coping with them.
In terms of sexual life, couples are not happy because they are separated from their parents by a wall. In the chat record, I also mentioned the embarrassment of silent sex life, and she didn't communicate with me! Perhaps lack of communication in life leads to behavioral biases. All this ultimately led to her cheating.
Recalling the days before her infidelity, she gradually began to use various excuses to avoid having sex with me. Even if she reluctantly made love, it was just coping, and the physiological period began to be chaotic. I couldn't even calculate her period that day. I suspect it was caused by taking an aftercare contraceptive pill.
Although she is very close to her children at home, she only plays for a while and doesn't care about the children at all. The constant use of makeup every day can even delay the children from attending kindergarten. She is not afraid of being late for work due to her ambiguous relationship with the leader, so she doesn't go if she wants to. She also has no time to take care of housework due to makeup, and her mother also has some complaints about her. All this dealt with her cheating.
Mr. Zheng, this really bothers me. On the one hand, in the face of his wife's infidelity, the man is in his wife's unit. Even if I have the intention to forgive, if the problem continues to derail, I cannot prevent it! On the other hand, my wife still treats me like before, with no significant changes. When traveling abroad, she calls me every day, remembers to bring many gifts for me and my children, and even buys a parent-child suit for a family of three when shopping!
I don't know how to handle this matter! Do I need to clarify this matter and ask my wife to resign! How to change in life! Please give me some advice from Teacher Zheng!
Re:
The same goes for marriage. If you compare it to a box, what you put in is love, and what you take out will also be love. You can take out as much as you put in. On the contrary, you don't care about it, and even put some dirty and bad things in. In the end, what you naturally take out is bitter fruit.
It seems that you are a victim of your wife's infidelity and deserve sympathy, but in fact, your heart is even clearer - it is your own fault for this evil relationship. Imagine if you had a little sense of responsibility for her, your marriage, and your family when you first got married; If it hadn't been for your earlier infidelity; Wait, will she retaliate against you by "tit for tat"?! Besides, you belong to flash marriage, and you don't know each other much, and your emotional foundation is relatively weak. It's strange that you take it for granted and don't take it seriously, and your marriage doesn't have any problems.
According to theory, a child is a piece of meat that falls from a mother's body. She can now ignore the child and have no guilt for cheating with her boss. It seems that she is breaking the can, but actually she already cares about her marriage with you, so she can muddle along so negatively. This shows that her heart has completely died in your marriage, and whether the root cause of her heart death is still in you, Have you ever reflected on this issue?!
"You should not simply think that your sexual life is not harmonious with hers. You should know that men" love from sex "and women" love from love. "If there is really no love between you, or if the little bit of love that you originally had between you is completely consumed by your respective irresponsibility, how can" homework based "male and female peace continue marriage?"?!
"It's not that you didn't forgive her for cheating with her boss, but rather that you have found the real problem between you. Do you still have some secrets you haven't mentioned?"?! "It seems that you are a victim and aggrieved person, and bystanders may still think that you are great. In fact, in your heart, you should be very clear whether you are a real man or not?"?!
To take a step back, if your wife is already aware that you know the guilt of her relationship with her boss, and you remain silent, will she feel that you actually don't care about her and feel even colder, so that she will more see you as air without any sense of guilt?! If you can't find answers to these questions yourself, what's the use of keeping that marriage certificate?! Is it just because of your man's face?!
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)
