Post Date December, 03 2023
I will always remember my husband's promise when he proposed to me: "I will only love you in this life." Now I realize that he lied a big lie.
Back then, I was blinded by his sweet words and married him in a daze. He used to love writing poetry, essays, and love letters to me. During the day, he didn't want to eat, and at night, he didn't want to sleep. Over time, he truly fell in love. We had children less than a year after getting married, and we had a very happy childhood. Our neighbors praised our love as a young couple.
However, the good times did not last long. Since the child entered the nursery, I have noticed that he has something wrong. He is often absent-minded, and sometimes when he comes home from work to report, he disappears immediately. I'm curious, where did he go? What are you doing? A series of questions recurred in my mind. After he returned, he also appeared evasive and furtive. As soon as his phone rang, he immediately avoided me. I have shared these situations with the emotional counselor one by one, and she believes that my husband may have an affair.
Did he have an affair? I couldn't believe it for a moment. I didn't want to mistreat him. I must see with my own eyes before I can make a conclusion. In order to clarify the situation, I spent a lot of money conducting a marriage investigation and finally took a photo of him sneaking out to meet his female colleague at night. Faced with the fixed frame footage of two people hugging and kissing tightly, I looked at it and my eyes were blurred by tears.
Later, I went to his workplace to learn about his relationship with this woman, which had been going on for almost two years. After her divorce, she hooked up with my husband. Since he has reached this point, I don't want to hold him back, so I took the initiative to divorce him. I didn't expect him to refuse. He admitted that he was wrong, promised to make corrections, and let me see his future performance.
My heart softened and I forgave him. Later on, he did not go out at night., But weekends have become "extra day shifts" and "day meetings". I finally paid for a "private detective" and found out that he went to the hotel with that woman in broad daylight to open a room. In a fit of anger, I abandoned my son and decided to divorce. He came to my mother's house repeatedly to plead, and even asked the unit leader to come forward and persuade me to give him another chance.
I really can't figure it out. Since he has an affair, why doesn't he want a divorce?
Ms. Zhao:
You may have heard the saying 'the red flag at home stays up, but the colorful flags float outside'? Is this sentence correct? This means that some men are lustful outside, but still use their family as a cover, stepping on two boats and being extremely selfish.
I have come into contact with many men who have had extramarital affairs, some of whom desire two types of women: one is the Virgin Mary type, kind and virtuous; The other type is fairy like, romantic and charming. In real life, men who have already obtained the "Virgin Mary" still want to find the "fairy"; And the man who gets the 'fairy' still wants to find the 'Virgin'. These two types of men are generally unwilling to divorce, as they are well aware that 'marriage is not easy, divorce is not easy'. In addition, there are also some men who just want to hunt for cheap and high-quality "wild food" outside, and do not want to pay the price of divorce.
Due to the strong pressure of morality, public opinion, law, and other factors, and the high cost of divorce, promiscuous men often adopt a strategy of "appeasing the inside and comforting the outside", neither losing their wives nor giving up their lovers.
Since you have the evidence, you need to have a showdown with him and force him to make a serious choice of 'one of the two must come first'. If he persists, you have the right to sue in court, file a divorce lawsuit, and fight for your legal rights.
