Post Date December, 03 2023
Big and small are their nicknames in life. He is tall and handsome, while she is petite and charming; He is gentle and elegant, while she has a sharp tongue. After three years of passionate love, just graduated a year ago, they chose to cohabit. However, after a year of trial marriage, their once passionate love was defeated in their daily lives. Give up or continue? It's a painful issue for them all.
Her carelessness is unbearable to me
I really don't understand how a girl can be so careless and careless! Wash the clothes, regardless of the color of the underwear and outer clothes, she threw them all into the washing machine. Even if she did the dishes, she could accidentally drop a few. When we first lived together, she occasionally took the initiative to do some household chores. However, her work was so rough, and coupled with her high work pressure, it made me sad to see her as a thin and small girl who went out early and returned late every day. Therefore, later on, I decided to take care of all the household chores.
But even if I volunteered to become the cook and nanny at home, she should be a little more considerate. She's lucky. It's often when I've just finished tidying up the room, and when she comes home, she throws her bags and clothes around, rummages through boxes and cabinets, and the house feels like it's been robbed.
I get annoyed when I read it. We often argue over these small matters. Not only does she not change at all, but she often speaks forcefully and cleverly. I can't speak of her, I can't be angry in my heart. The bowls and cups at home have become my targets for venting; She is not willing to be outdone, anything she can easily pick up can become a weapon for her to smash at me.
Sometimes when we think about it, perhaps choosing to cohabit and try out marriage itself is a mistake. I remember the first time I saw her was 4 years ago when the school club organized an event in Moshan. She was so petite, gentle, and quiet, and the shy smile that lowered her head immediately stole my heart. Unexpectedly, in real life, she is completely different. She is not only rough at home, but also careless outside.
Once, at 8 o'clock in the evening, before she came back, I called her and kept turning off the phone. I waited restlessly until 10 pm, but she still didn't respond and there wasn't a single phone call. I'm both angry and anxious, she's just like that, she's never reassuring! I rode my bike out to find her and followed her all the way back from work. However, I didn't even see a shadow of her. When I came home exhausted, it was already over 11 o'clock at night, and she was already lying in bed asleep! I was so angry that I pushed her to wake up, but she was still very unhappy and said I made her drowsy.
Later, she told me that her phone was stolen on the bus when I was working in the morning, and that she came home so late because she was too tired and slept over the bus stop. I asked her, why didn't you tell me your phone fell off this morning? She curled her lips and said, 'I'm not afraid you might scold me!'! That day, I didn't sleep a wink all night. I don't know what's wrong with her and me. Why is there such a lack of understanding between us?
Her job is always more important than mine
After graduation, I joined a large state-owned enterprise in Hankou and had a regular commute. However, she entered a private enterprise and left earlier than me every day, and her return time was uncertain. After returning home from work at 6 pm, I first went to the vegetable market to buy groceries (most of the vendors in the market already know me, after all, there are too few young men like me who buy groceries every day), and then went home to wash and pick groceries. After everything was ready, I didn't dare to cook because I was afraid that the food would be cold when she came back, so I had to guard my phone and wait for her to come back.
Later, in order to facilitate her work in Qingshan, we moved from my workplace in Hankou to Xudong Road, but she still set out early and returned late. Every day when I come home from work, what I see is always an empty room, sometimes it feels very desolate.
Once I came back from a business trip in Nanjing, it happened to be noon on Sunday. I hurried home to give her a surprise, but as soon as I opened the door, she was not at home! I silently put down my luggage and habitually walked into the kitchen, with only two eggplants on the empty desk. At that moment, I really felt even lonelier than those two eggplants! I called her and she said she was shopping with her sister! Work is more important than me, and family and friends are more important than me. What is my ranking? In a fit of anger, I broke up with her for the first time, but after three days of cold war, we made up again.
Similar conflicts are happening more and more frequently, and every time I try to unravel these knots, she dodges and avoids problems. In June of this year, her company is moving to Huangjinkou in Hanyang, and she said she also wants to move to the dormitory in the factory. I don't agree, I don't understand how she can speak so easily? Doesn't she have any attachment to this family? The more I thought about it, the colder my heart felt. In a fit of anger, I broke up with her again.
What surprised me was that the next day she really moved out quietly. When I came home from work, I looked at the room without her and shed tears. Every corner here left her scent behind! I realized now that I couldn't do without her! In Wuhan, I only have one relative, how can I live alone without her?
After moving out, she rarely contacted me. But I couldn't let her go at all. The thought of her in such a remote factory area without anyone to take care of made me feel heartbroken. I went to the factory to see her with the cooked soup and fruit, but she either didn't see me or was busy with work and ignored me. She told me to give each other time to calm down. But falling in love is not like writing articles that can have blank spaces. A blank space may become an eternal stop between us!
His petty considerations hurt me a lot
My friends often envy me for my good fortune and have found a good boyfriend who is "twenty four filial piety". The three years of love during my university years were indeed very sweet. He took great care of me and was very attentive. His parents and I are both out of town, and after graduation, we naturally chose to live together. At first, I really felt very happy.
Although I work hard outside, every night when I come home, he always carefully prepares delicious meals for me and tirelessly sorts out the things I have thrown around. Sometimes, I also want to help with some household chores, but he always comes over and seems to be very distressed and a bit angry, saying, "Look, your hands are so small that you can't even hold a bowl. What else can you do? Let me do it
However, gradually he complained more and more about me, and even a small incident could make him lose his temper. He will say that I haven't put my clothes properly, he will be angry with me if I come home late, and he can also be angry if I can't get through to my phone. I don't understand, how could a big man be so small hearted? Is it necessary to make such a fuss about these small matters? He always says that I have become different from before. He doesn't think about how gentle and considerate he used to be to me, and how harsh and unreasonable he is now!
Let's just talk about the time my phone was stolen. He blamed me for not telling him earlier and making him worry. Can I tell him about his hot temper? I always worked overtime those days. When I got home, I fell asleep on the bus and overslept the station. By the time I got home, it was already around 10 pm and he was not at home. I thought he was socializing outside, so I didn't call him. I was hungry and tired, so I just ate something and fell asleep. Just after falling asleep for a while, he involuntarily pushed me awake. I was originally quite moved when he said he had gone out to find me, but his unreasonable appearance made me feel disgusted.
He broke up with me for the first time because of a small matter. He was on a business trip, and I couldn't even go shopping with my sister? I don't know when he will come home!
After every conflict, we will have a cold war, and then our emotions gradually run out in the cold war.
He said I despise him for not being ambitious
When I was looking for a job after graduation, I was not as lucky as him. I applied to work as an accountant in a private enterprise. Private enterprises are different from state-owned enterprises, where overtime is a common occurrence and there is much greater pressure. The boss saves labor and doesn't even want to hire a cleaner. We have to do all the miscellaneous tasks of mopping the floor and wiping the table ourselves.
But he just doesn't understand me, and sometimes he even throws cold water on me. I know he works hard and he has put in a lot of effort for me and our small family, but what can I do? I also want to go home on time every day, and I want to take a walk with him after dinner instead of immediately facing the computer. But if I don't work hard, I will be fired!
I think he's too idle. If he gets busy like me, maybe there will be less conflicts between us. I advised him to pay more attention to his work. We are still so young and should work hard for the future. But he was furious and said that I had no conscience. He worked for me, but I hated him for not having ambition.
After several arguments, he broke up with me, but he came to me a few days later to make peace. Once, we had another big argument, and the next day I was going to Zhengzhou on a business trip. That night, he tossed and turned in bed and couldn't sleep, nor did he let me sleep, constantly asking what we should do between us. I was so sleepy that I begged him to let me sleep first, but he refused. I really feel tired, not only physically but also mentally. I think it's time to solve our problem.
Coincidentally, the company was moving to a relatively remote Huangjinkou, so I proposed to live in the dormitory in the factory. On the one hand, it's too far to go to work, and I want to focus on doing a good job. On the other hand, it also gives us some space to calm down. But his reaction was very strong, saying that I was cruel and that I didn't care about him at all. In fact, why am I not in pain when making such a decision? But if we continue to live like this, we will only find that there are more and more problems, and the harm to each other is getting deeper and deeper.
After moving out, he often came to the factory to find me, and even knelt down and begged me to move back. To be honest, I have been shaken several times, but when I think of the past scenes, I once again give up the idea of going back. A week ago, he said he was sick and couldn't move in bed. I was very anxious and rushed to see him, only to find out that he was just lying to me. He took my hand and called me home, but I couldn't help crying. I don't know what will happen to us in the future, but I clearly know that love and life are really two different things. (All characters in the text are pseudonyms)
The truth behind sweetness
In a friend's blog, I saw a sentence: "Behind sweet love is often the truth that we cannot tolerate. As long as one party is slightly picky, it will change from singing and dancing to drawing swords and arrows
What is the truth? It is the daily trivialities that every man and woman must deal with outside of love. In dealing with daily trivialities, each person's most authentic personality, those hot tempered, careless, lazy, and meticulous that may be hidden, overlooked, and beautified in love, will be exposed. The person you love is no longer a beautiful illusion of not eating human fireworks, but a flawed mortal who is not much different from others.
Don't demand qualities that he or she didn't originally possess. No matter how much you love each other in the first place, love will be buried by such demands.
Either accept the real one with tolerance, or continue to search for the perfect next, if you can find it.
