Post Date December, 03 2023
Alan has forgotten how he lived his pre marriage life. Looking back on my single days, if I wanted to travel and pack my luggage, I would set out. If I wanted to reward myself, I would taste delicious food all afternoon, and the pace of my life was incredibly pleasant; Unexpectedly, as we got married and had children, the spring behind us seemed to be spinning at 6:5, especially since our own time no longer belonged to us, as the world began to revolve around our children, rushing to pick them up from the nanny after work, breastfeeding, changing diapers, preparing dinner, and organizing household chores.
Looking back, the child finally slept soundly in the crib, and her husband had already gone to bed after finishing the snack. She was still wearing her work clothes and looked up at the time. It was already two o'clock in the night.
There is a new buzzword in modern times that means two people living together for the next generation, but not completely co parenting. Instead, there is only one side that provides more care and nurturing for children, with women being the majority; In fact, the phenomenon of fake single parents is a form of gender inequality.
From a biological perspective, generally speaking, the number of sperm can reach trillions, and one egg is discharged every month, indicating the preciousness of eggs. After conception, they also have to undergo long-term pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and other experiences. For most women, children are not only precious, but also likely their own investment. Therefore, compared to men, women are more unable to tolerate mistakes in child care (such as hunger and crying), As long as there is a lack of children, most women will rush to the front line and solve their children's needs.
And dear, perhaps we can try the following three methods:
1. Encourage each other to take care of their children
For those who prioritize taking care of their children, most may not trust their partner to take care of them. Even if their partner is willing to take care of them together, they may express dissatisfaction due to concerns: diapers are not changing like this This is how the clothes are supposed to be worn for him Do you know how to take care of your child!? Over time, the other party may lose confidence in taking care of their children due to being disliked, and even retreat from taking care of them. (Many people also have gender stereotypes about men, believing that they are not good at taking care of children and may instead deprive them of opportunities to take care of or learn.)
Therefore, it's best to try using guidance to assist your partner and encourage them. For example, your method is actually good, but I have a method that can help him change clothes and diapers faster. This is great! Afterwards, it will become more and more convenient, cultivating a mutual understanding between the two, and even warming up the relationship.
2. Division of labor and family rules
For example, nursing schedules in the middle of the night, or if you pick up the child and I clean the house. Create the division of labor rules that are most suitable for you, rather than dividing responsibilities based on gender. After all, the role of father and mother is never limited to gender, but rather a shared responsibility between the two.
3. Knowing that oneself is an individual, so are children
Who is willing to let their children make any mistakes in the hearts of all parents? But dear, don't forget that when you focus entirely on your child, sometimes you also forget that it is you who should be taken care of the most. Only when you are full of vitality can your child grow steadily; When feeling tired, please return your spirit to yourself first, take a good shower, enjoy delicious food, and rediscover yourself.
From a social perspective, women are usually expected to become good mothers, or are taught that motherhood is a woman's business, and men only need to earn money to support their families. However, in modern society where there are many double income families, women work as hard as men, but when they return home, they also have to play motherhood and cannot rest well. Over time, the issue of taking care of children seems to have become a unilateral matter, as each other has become accustomed to the expectations of this society.
