Sexual Health
What should I do if my husband is looking for a mistress outside and has given birth to a daughter
My husband and I have been married for 12 years, and our sons are both 13 years old. However, only last year did I realize that he had a woman outside and had a daughter with someone else. Our economy was not very good before, but now it's slightly better. He did these things that made me sad and sad. He played cards, ate and drank outside, and lost his family property. I really want to divorce, but I can't bear to part with my son because he is too sensible and obedient.
I don't want to divorce. My life has never been happy, happy, and tiring. I feel that there is no one in the world worth my trust anymore, because when we first got married, we had nothing and could be said to be a couple in need. He treats me very well and is envious of us in front of relatives and friends. I never dreamed he would treat me like this. May I ask Teacher Pang, what should I do? How should I take the road in the future?
reply:
Countless vivid facts have proven that when couples are together, they can often share hardships, but cannot share joys. This also fully confirms the phrase that people often lament: it is easy to conquer the mountains and rivers, but difficult to sit on them. In fact, this is also the fundamental weakness of human nature, which requires continuous self-cultivation. Unfortunately, most people are ordinary people, how many can they overcome?
Faced with a man's infidelity, women usually break their hearts and start thinking about divorce, then turn their attention to their children. Yes, children are a hindrance, but they can also easily become excuses. It is undeniable that divorce between spouses causes the greatest harm to children, as they are innocent. However, sometimes, people in besieged cities also need to think about whether bundling unfortunate marriages with children or using the surface integrity of marriage can buy children from harm? It's just self deception.
As far as you are concerned, if there are such major problems in marriage, of course, you cannot simply use divorce to solve them. Naturally, you need to reflect on yourself, examine the marriage itself, see what the problem is, and find the root cause before making a more rational decision. For example, are you lacking in marriage management skills yourself, or is it because your husband has a good life and starts to grow up? People are inherently fickle animals, and in different environments, they may appear in different states. Perhaps it is because the man was hidden too deeply in the past, and you did not realize that his nature was like this. Perhaps it is because the temptation from the outside world is too great to make a man resist. In short, the man in front of you has changed, becoming so unfamiliar to you. He not only betrayed your marriage, but also had an illegitimate daughter outside. What does he want? He may just be living a poor life, and as soon as he gets better, he doesn't know who he is, and begins to fall and struggle. Such a man is destined to not be happy in this lifetime, and living with such a man will bring even more harm to women.
If you don't have a strong mentality to choose divorce, then you can only accept the current reality and need to be prepared for the following: 1. Communicate and negotiate with your husband, tell him that your bottom line has been reached, and ask him to quickly come up with a solution to deal with the current mess, otherwise divorce or see you in court; 2. Using extreme insecurity as an excuse to transfer family economic power to oneself and take the initiative; 3. Communicate with your child at any time, instill in them the problems that your spouse has, make them aware of them, reduce harm to them, and lay the groundwork for choosing a divorce if they cannot survive in the future; 4. Start making yourself stronger and more independent, don't rely on any man anymore, but also don't go to extremes easily. Don't believe in any man to the point of death. In fact, not all men will fall without a bottom line. Think big, life is not easy, know how to cherish oneself on your own.