Post Date December, 03 2023
Our three-year marriage crisis ended in divorce. Normally, I should be happy from now on, but after the divorce, my mood became more complex and heavy. I didn't want to see anyone during the day and couldn't sleep at night. Occasionally encountering acquaintances and colleagues, I always feel that their eyes are not right, suspecting that they are discussing and mocking me behind my back. Lying alone in bed at night; Always reminiscing about people and things I saw during the day, with a lot of heart, worry, and dreams. My mother is a nurse, and after learning about my feelings, she advised me to seek treatment from a psychologist. I have been to a mental health center three times, but my mood still hasn't improved.
Yesterday, I went to the hospital for further consultation. I started talking to a Ms. Cai in the waiting room. After hearing about my condition, she said I shouldn't come to the hospital for treatment. She believes that marriage problems cannot be solved by taking medication and injections, and should seek targeted counseling from marriage experts or marriage counselors. She also suggested that I read more books, read more newspapers, and make more friends to vent my accumulated depression and make my heart feel more relaxed.
How can I get rid of the depression after divorce?
Ms. Zhang:
According to the situation described in your letter, your current symptoms are called "divorce syndrome", which refers to the feeling of loneliness, loss, and inferiority caused by divorce.
Loneliness is one of the strongest psychological reactions among divorcees. Although divorce has resolved the contradictions and conflicts in past marital life, it has followed the rupture of interpersonal relationships. It requires a certain amount of time and energy to repair and rebuild, and before that, there will definitely be a feeling of desolation and loneliness.
The second is a sense of loss. Although there was a long, painful, and difficult struggle before divorce, immediately after divorce, one would feel that they had put in too much effort and lost in this marriage.
Inferiority complex is due to the inability to get along with oneself, believing that divorced women are inferior or no longer have their past glory, and suspecting and afraid of others discussing behind their backs.
If you want to get rid of 'divorce syndrome' as soon as possible, you can try the following methods:
1、 Let go of it. Boldly and unreservedly vent the joys, sorrows, and joys of divorce to your usually close friends or family, and listen to their advice and suggestions. Regardless of whether their suggestions are applicable to you, you can feel their understanding and concern.
2、 Change the environment. The environment before divorce may leave you with too many unpleasant and sad memories, which can be mentally stimulating for you. It is best to live in a different place; Even if it is difficult to move, at least the furniture and appliances should be replaced and renovated, which is called environmental desensitization therapy.
3、 Cognitive adjustment. Simply put, one should consciously accept the real situation, recognize from the depths of their hearts that this is the result of their own efforts, adjust negative emotions, and adapt to the already formed life situation.
4、 Start over. Creating a new life is a legitimate goal for divorcees. Since you are divorced, let's quickly find new emotional support. You can make some friends at the dating center and singles club.
In short, for divorcees, there will be internal pain, and recovery requires a certain amount of time. Time is the best treatment, you don't have to worry too much.
