Post Date December, 03 2023
1、 Discontent Bringing Duty into the Family
Ms. Xia's husband is a deputy director, and while she is proud of her husband's "director's hat", she also hates her husband often wearing it when he comes home.
Ms. Xia said that she occasionally receives phone notifications from the "director's husband" before leaving work: Tonight I will go to a restaurant to have dinner with someone, and his wife will also come. Please come and accompany me quickly. Upon receiving such notification, Ms. Xia had to cancel her appointment immediately even if she had a more important one. The "Director's husband" does not take his wife's sacrifice seriously, and of course, he will not be grateful because in his opinion, that is what the Director's wife should do.
Director Jin rarely attends gatherings of Ms. Xia's family due to his busy work schedule. Even if he occasionally goes to eat, he always puts himself "cold" aside: a cup of tea, a cigarette, a newspaper, and continues to display his director's money. Therefore, Ms. Xia's family always refers to him as the "golden bureau" when they see him.
Comment: Society and family are the two major stages of life, and correspondingly, everyone plays a social and family role. Social roles are instrumental in nature, they can be impersonal, businesslike, and have strict hierarchical relationships; Family roles, on the other hand, are emotional. Family members and spouses are equal and non subordinate, and their words and actions are permeated with emotional factors. Therefore, bringing official behavior into the family is bound to cause chaos in the family and lead to discord between spouses. Husbands should firmly remember this.
2、 Discontent, excessive attention, and annoyance to wife
If a man is too obedient to his wife, it can also be annoying to women. They may think that life is too peaceful and without waves, and even think that such men lack personality.
Mrs. Li's husband is a middle school teacher. In order to win his wife's favor, Mr. Li is obedient to his wife. He not only learned to cook well, but also enjoyed accompanying his wife shopping in his spare time. He was also willing to pay for what his wife liked. During holidays, he always prepares gifts for his mother-in-law early on. What's more interesting is that Mr. Li belongs to the type of man who is always ready to take his wife out of his heart and have a look. Even during the break from class, he still needs to find some reasons to call Ms. Li and chat. Normally, this is what many women crave, but over time, Mrs. Li began to feel overwhelmed and found him "mother-in-law" and unproductive. Mrs. Li said that she always feels a sense of unease in her heart and wants to vent through arguments or other means, but she can't find anyone to vent on! No matter what happens to her husband, he takes all the responsibility on himself and always looks like a pug in front of his wife, making people feel that he has no personality. Living such a life is not exciting at all.
Comment: "The husband sings with the women" and "the little bird follows the people" are the gender images of women shaped by traditional society, and this gender image still has a great influence to this day. However, if men also appear in this gender image, it is difficult to gain recognition from society and women. Because we have always believed that men (husbands) should be the ones who make big decisions in the family. As a man (husband), one should be bold and responsible. This social gender image should not fade with the progress of history, but should add some new elements, such as compromise and tolerance, in order to make a man's family image more perfect and more easily accepted by modern women (wives and children).
3、 Discontented chicken intestines and small bellies don't look like men
No wife would like a man who is fussy and has a small belly. But Ms. An's husband is just such a person. Mr. Peng is a working emperor with an annual income of several hundred thousand yuan. Although he is capable in his work, he has a very stingy personality.
After Ms. An and Mr. Peng got married, Mr. Peng asked Ms. An to resign and go home as a housewife, and Ms. An readily agreed. On the day of resigning, I bought a bunch of cooking books from the bookstore and decided to be a good housewife. But Ms. An gradually realized that Mr. Peng had a very tight view of himself, especially on the issue of money. The monthly living expenses he gave her were very limited, as if they were calculated one by one, and he was very concerned about what clothes she bought and how much money she spent, which made Ms. An feel very uncomfortable. This year their child went to kindergarten, and Ms. An was ready to work again. So she contacted her former colleagues and friends to seek their opinions. Seeing his wife going out a lot, Mr. Peng began to pay attention to Ms. An's phone, secretly checking her call records and information, and openly expressed doubts about several numbers that appeared more frequently, which made Ms. An very dissatisfied.
Comment: Generosity has always been a good psychological quality and social gender image for men. When it comes to someone who is "not like a man," it is often a negation of this good social gender image for men. In fact, a magnanimous husband is generally able to handle marital and various interpersonal relationships well, and a magnanimous husband often gives his wife more sense of security and brings a peaceful atmosphere to marriage life.
(Intern Editor: Cai Junyi)
