Post Date November, 16 2024
Dear cat man and cat woman, do you know about sexual negotiation? Do you know what kind of sexual life and psychological state require sexual negotiation? This article is declassified, and sex counselors will explain your various confusions one by one! (Recommended reading: cleaning addiction, mental anxiety, fear of sex! You have heard of "AIDS phobia" Have you ever heard of sex counseling? It's hard for ordinary people to imagine that it would be awkward to tell a stranger about private sex in a room. Does sex counseling really help with sex? If so, what methods can be used to assist people who encounter difficulties in sex? This article attempts to decipher this emerging industry and let everyone know what sex negotiation is.
Sexual negotiation is the next field of negotiation profession
With the increasing popularity of psychological negotiation in Taiwan, more and more people hope to seek help from the psychological negotiation profession when encountering difficulties in life. Negotiation teachers use their professional knowledge and negotiation skills in psychology to discuss and discover solutions to problems, such as family relationships, interpersonal relationships, communication with marriage partners, career planning, emotional management, and stress relief
But in psychological negotiation, there is a special next field called sexual negotiation. In fact, sexual negotiations are basically no different from regular negotiations. It is also conducted through conversation, but due to the special nature of sexual issues, more relevant knowledge and clarification of sexual value are needed when discussing this issue. If psychologists are not prepared, it is easy to feel that personal boundaries have been violated when discussing sexual issues. They may be shocked, frightened, and deeply hurt by the sexual issues presented directly by the interviewee, or be affected by the interviewee's problems, confusing their sexual values, and unable to neutral and objective tell the interviewee, or send or transfer their personal emotions.
Therefore, in the cultivation and training of sex counselors, the first and most important step is to prepare for sexual problems, including self-exploration, clear understanding and reconstruction of sexual values, psychologists having a clearer understanding of their own personality, and a wider acceptance of the sexual world. When facing counselors with sexual problems, sex counselors are not limited to the various feelings caused by sex itself, It can guide counselors to engage in deeper personal inner exploration.
The particularity of sexual issues
In the above paragraph, there is a discussion on the particularity of sexual issues, and what are the special aspects of sexual issues that ordinary consultants may not be able to tolerate.
1. Sexual concealment and taboos:
In Taiwanese society, discussing sexual issues is still taboo, and most people believe that it is a matter of privacy between partners. Because it is done behind closed doors, it cannot be discussed in front of them, and there are also quite hidden methods of conversation. Parents do not speak at home, school teachers do not speak, and partners do not speak. This culture can easily lead to misunderstandings and unclear information on communication issues. In addition, people who talk about sexual issues believe that lust is all about sex and are labeled as someone else. In such a social atmosphere, sexual issues are prone to strong suppression, and we are also very familiar with it. A problem cannot be talked about properly, but when oppressed multiple times, the problem becomes like a snowball, getting bigger and bigger.
2. The complexity of sex:
Sex is not just sexual activity that occurs in bed, but also sexual issues that affect a person's physical and mental health, including the physical and mental maturity of children during their growth, the troubles and curiosity of adolescent development, sexual tendencies, gender identity, sexual preferences, diseases, and social psychological factors. For example, when a partner comes for sex, they complain that their sexual life is not happy. From clinical cases, some partners may engage in sexual activity. Sexual lifestyles are not satisfactory because they cannot fully conform to sexual life. That is to say, surface sexual behavior is like the top layer of an iceberg, but in reality, there are more hidden factors below the water surface that can affect the adaptability and engagement of sexual behavior.
3. Rich sexual information, but confusion:
After the development of the internet, many people used the Google God to absorb knowledge and make up for the shortcomings of home and school education. However, information on the internet is often fragmented, intentionally created, or propagated in a certain ideology, which is useless and can actually lead to misunderstandings about sexual knowledge. In addition, many people understand what sex is like through pornographic movies, learn the methods of their partner in pornographic movies, construct a blueprint for their lover, and set symbols for sexual behavior. However, these actually prevent many people from truly enjoying sex and are troubled by the sexual confusion produced by the media.
Based on the above analysis, we can know that discussing sexual issues is definitely not something that ordinary psychologists can do, but requires special training to help the person seeking help handle their own sexual problems.
How to Conduct Sexual Negotiations
Many people have a lot of imagination about sexual negotiation, worried about whether the consultation room needs to expose their chest and back, or whether the actual sexual behavior needs to be evaluated by the counselor, or how the counselor actually conducts sexual behavior. If the counselor and I are different genders, wouldn't they know the sexual difficulties I encounter?
But these things won't happen.
Basically, there is no principle of sexual behavior where sexual counseling experts have sex counselors. In the professional ethics of sexual counseling, sexual counselors adhere to this ethical principle. In principle, the negotiation method is the same as other issues, most of which are discussed through language. However, the negotiation teacher has an important ability to describe the scene through language. In the negotiation process, the negotiation teacher constructs the details of the actual life state, including the environmental field, the psychological state of the two people, and the sexual behavior process through language, and continuously checks and confirms with the visitor during the process, even if not present, It can also indicate the presence of sexual behavior.
This explanation can identify the reasons for sexual disharmony between partners and provide further symptomatic treatment. Some people may be concerned about whether the gender of a sex counselor will affect the effectiveness of counseling. Indeed, the gender of a counselor can affect the freedom and openness of topics related to conversational sex in the early stages of a conversation. Some people are accustomed to being a counselor of their own gender, while others believe they can freely discuss their own troubles. However, some people want to choose a counselor of a different gender and provide opinions from another gender. However, as the negotiation relationship is established, this situation gradually decreases, and whether the negotiation can be helped in the end is actually not related to the gender of the negotiator.
In principle, conversations are held once a week for an hour each time, but the actual length, frequency, and frequency of negotiations depend on the psychologist's style and evaluation of the problem. Sexual negotiation is a whole person negotiation, and sometimes sexual issues only appear on the surface. In fact, they are related to an individual's psychological needs, values, and even personality structure. Basically, psychologists mainly assist the interviewer in handling problems and personality structure through conversation. After evaluation, it is necessary to use media materials and technical education to assist the interviewer.
Case sharing
Couples seek sexual negotiation and cooperation due to disharmony in their sexual life. The wife complains that the teacher doesn't want to touch her and slides on her phone every day when she comes home from work. When tired, she takes a shower and sleeps. The teacher says that her busy work does indeed affect her physical strength. When she is sexy, she can masturbate and complete it. When her relationship with the wife is surplus and her strength is insufficient, her erection status is also good and bad, and she avoids sexual activity in order not to disappoint. Find a sex counseling center for help through a friend's introduction.
At first, the two of them said in front of strangers that their sexual life was very uncomfortable, but with the guidance and questions of a sex counselor, the two can slowly express their imagination, expectations, disappointment, and communication about their sexual life. Secondly, sex counselors assist partners in understanding their respective sexual development processes, their romantic development, and the evolution of sexual relationships, explaining how each other's sexual values are formed. Through homework at home, they assist partners in practicing and discussing sexual related issues at home, improving each other's understanding. After the relationship between the two became closer, they began to assist the couple in rebuilding a new sexual life pattern, avoiding setbacks and various feelings of loss caused by past patterns.
By gradually practicing every week and discussing the effectiveness of the exercise with a sex counselor, we can gradually resume our sexual life. The wife can gradually experience the anxiety of the teacher about sexual behavior. After three months of negotiation, the two no longer bother with sexual life, expanding the definition of sexual life, and discovering that sexual life not only includes inserting sexual intercourse, but also includes the relationship and intimate love between the two.
