Sexual Health
What choice should my boyfriend make when he slowly stops contacting me after returning to work in his hometown
I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and he has been very kind to me for the past three years. I may have been a bit busy at first, but gradually stabilized. During this time, we met each other's parents and both families were generally satisfied.
We both come from different places and work in a third city. In May 2016, his parents and my mother came to our city to prepare for their engagement. At that time, they felt that their job was not stable enough and their future city had not been determined. I was a bit hesitant about getting engaged. My attitude, coupled with his mother's words, caused some discord between the two parties, but it was not settled.
Later, his parents superficially said that this matter was over, but they began to persuade him to take the exam for the establishment unit in his hometown, but eventually he passed the exam. In August, my boyfriend left. When he left, he agreed that he would settle down and I would resign, get married, and look for a job. I had been in contact for two months when I first left, but gradually I lost touch.
Once he asked me if I would hate him, and I said that after three years together, you treated me quite well, even if I parted, I didn't hate you. Later on, there was no contact, and I spent time with the little dog we raised together. My friend circle occasionally posts a photo of a puppy, and he may say that the puppy is cute or something, but when I post it, he never responds.
At that time, it was agreed that he would come over on New Year's Day, but he hasn't come yet. Recently, I asked him if he still wants to come and if he wants anything left here? He said he would come, but the time is uncertain. Do I still need to wait for him? Because I am also a stranger, I think if I can't continue walking with him, I want to go back to my hometown.
I asked my mother, and her attitude was to try my best to salvage this relationship. She also said that after graduating from college and having no other partners, she resigned and went home, afraid that her neighbors would gossip and she didn't want me to go back. I have no problem supporting myself and my little dog with my current salary, and there is also a slight surplus. But I want to break up, change my city, change my mood, should I resign and go home? Or go to another city?
reply:
Regarding your relationship, I think it's more about not cherishing it yourself. Although you've been together for three years, you can't tell how much you yearn for your boyfriend between the lines. Taking the matter of engagement as an example, it was also due to your hesitation that some friction and discord arose between your two families, and ultimately they parted ways unhappily. Of course, their parents may have some thoughts about you, thinking that you have a problem with your attitude as a girl. It seems like you don't get along with someone else's son very well, and they will definitely do their own son's work in private to resist you. They think that their son should have a stable and formal job first to be reliable.
Although it seems that no one has made a clear decision to break up between you and your boyfriend, in fact, as the connection between you gradually cools down, although your boyfriend still pays attention to your social media, he does not give you any active response, indicating that he no longer has much enthusiasm for you. He is silently and indifferently suggesting letting go, indicating that your relationship is no longer working. Since that's the case, is there any need to wait for him? If two people really care about each other, then there must be a connection that hasn't been played out every day, a longing for confession and longing, but do you have it? The state between you seems to have lost even the tasteless taste of food and the pity of abandoning it!
I really disagree with your mother's opinion. Emotion is not something obtained through struggle, but rather through mutual cherish. If neither you nor your boyfriend has a strong attachment to each other, then unilateral redemption is obviously meaningless. Even if we can barely get together through hard work, it will be difficult to achieve the desired happiness in the future. After all, you are the woman, and even if you try to salvage it, it is more reliable for the man to come forward and do it. It's better not to do something against your heart just to take into account the worthless face and the vanity that kills others. Therefore, your mother's advice advises you not to blindly listen, and you need to follow the most authentic voice in your own heart.
I personally believe that whether you can continue or eventually separate, the test is your mentality. No matter what the outcome is, you need to maintain a calm and calm mood, face reality directly, and not avoid it. If you can achieve this, it doesn't matter whether you choose to return to your hometown, stay in your city, or change cities, as long as you are confident enough and full of hope for the future.