Post Date December, 03 2023
Q:
I am a woman with little sense of security. Even if my husband is by my side, I still feel uneasy and always feel that he is keeping something from me.
I have to say that a large part of the reason for my current situation is due to my husband's infidelity before marriage. At that time, we had been talking for three years, and the meaning of the two families was that it was almost time to get married. However, their family searched the almanac and asked someone to calculate the dates, and calculated that the year was not very good. It was best not to have a wedding in that year. I was a bit reluctant and felt like an excuse, after all, there was a bit of a rift between the two families regarding the dowry and dowry before. Later on, our family said that we wouldn't handle the drinks for now, but we need to confirm the marriage in advance, which means getting engaged first.
Their family has no objections, but it is obvious that they have not taken the matter of engagement seriously. Choosing a hotel and inviting family and friends are all concerns of my family. Their family ended up with only one table of relatives, and none of their friends or colleagues came. This is one aspect. During that time, I had a bit of an unpleasant time with him. But, even if there is something between the two people who are rushing to get married, if they say no, it will be okay? But how did he do it?
Not long after we got engaged, he had an affair with a woman who even called him brother, and our marriage was almost ruined because of this. It was he who repeatedly assured me, along with their family members, that they helped him compensate, and my family also advised me, that I forgave him. However, since then, I have been unable to trust him, and my condition is that if we continue to be together, we must disclose his social account information to me. His email password and QQ password must be told to me.
He did it, but of course he wasn't very happy. And I logged in to his QQ, and after that, I cleaned up a large number of suspicious objects on his QQ with his consent. He said that they were all netizens who had just added them casually using QQ, with men and women. If I like to delete them, I can delete them.
I only seek peace of mind.
After marriage, the days were relatively peaceful, but in the past two years, there were obviously few words. Because I would check his computer, he didn't have much access to QQ anymore. I forced him to set up my fingerprint for his phone password, but he didn't talk about QQ at all, and there were no abnormalities in his WeChat records. I couldn't see anything, thinking about myself, I was really staring at him so closely, but there was no sign of him cheating.
He needs to socialize, but he doesn't come home very late, no later than 11 o'clock. Generally, unless he's on a business trip, he doesn't stay overnight outside. I don't understand why he's not at ease. Perhaps it's because he would rather hold his phone all day instead of saying a few words to me?
I asked him what he's been playing with his phone all day, and he said he's not chatting with women anyway. But I don't think so. A few times, I clearly saw him chatting on WeChat, but when I came to his phone to check, there was nothing on WeChat. Even if he immediately deleted it, there would still be traces in his WeChat friends. But he explained to me every person in his WeChat friends, and I couldn't understand who he was talking to so enthusiastically?
I have always suspected him, but suffer from the lack of evidence and cannot convince myself to believe him. As a result, he got tired that day and had another argument with me about it. He threw down his phone and went downstairs. I was also obsessed and didn't pursue him. Instead, I went to check his phone first. This time, I clicked on the apps one by one and looked at them. Anyone who uses an Apple phone knows that apps can be classified and received into desktop folders. You can build as many of these folders as you want, and his phone has a bunch of applications. WeChat is directly on the desktop, but there are many other apps scattered in various folders. When I clicked on the folders one by one, You can also flip pages in the folder, and on the third page of one of the clips, you can actually see a WeChat icon again!
The same icon as the WeChat on the desktop!
To be honest, when I saw this "WeChat", I was completely bewildered. I always thought that only one WeChat could be installed on my phone, because WeChat needs to be bound to a phone number, so unlike QQ, which has a small account, I could only describe the feeling of falling into the ice.
Clicking on the hidden 'WeChat' reveals that the avatar is actually a photo of him playing basketball during his college years, and this' WeChat 'friend list is simply unattractive!!!
There are 15 unread messages, all sent by a woman with the nickname xxx. The woman, whose note he gave her was' XX Baby ', almost felt black in front of me. Anger burned all over my body, and I checked and looked at them every day. Unexpectedly, I still couldn't prevent thieves!!!
He had conversations with many women in this "WeChat", and they were all very explicit. However, this xx baby had the most conversations, and the conversation was still on the top. The chat records couldn't be retrieved at all, so I contacted him early on. I tried to search for chat records, search for words like "dear" and "missing you", and there were indeed many chat content that I shouldn't have seen.
I chat with this woman every day, not a day goes by without chatting! Pretending to be in front of me! Can the teacher guess what I found when I searched for words like 'meet', 'make an appointment', 'hotel', and 'when will it arrive'?
Discovered their conversation about opening a house together! Last month! Wednesday! 11am! In broad daylight! These two people! How shameless!
I never expected that he would install another "WeChat" to deal with my inspection. WeChat has simply become his tool for committing crimes. He doesn't understand how to bully me, so he openly and openly cheated and betrayed me under my nose!!!
I really hate it. I had to drop his phone in that weather, and it was all torn apart. He thought I was just losing my temper and didn't know I already knew about his dirty things. He even scolded me for being sick and ran to buy a new phone like nobody else. I was so angry that I forgot to take note of Xiao San's WeChat account. What should I do? What can I do now?
Answer:
Let me talk about some details that you care about. The phone book can be backed up, and as long as the SIM card is not changed and only the phone is changed, the phone number stored in the SIM card is retained. He must have the phone number of Xiao San there.
Say more about your family. Do you think the suspicion was caused by his premarital infidelity, but after that? The mental pressure you put on him has made this family a bit of fun? Who is willing to live under suspicion, lose their freedom, be monitored, controlled, and questioned? He tolerated you, but also retaliated against you completely in this hidden way.
You should all make adjustments. In recent years, it has become apparent that normal communication between you has become impossible. His stance is very vague, and your heart disease is too difficult to treat. The key to resolving conflicts and heartache lies in the attitude of the parties involved.
Should we deny everything so far for the sake of past unhappiness? Should we continue to extrapolate him with suspicion? Do you still have to deal with each other in such a painful way instead of in a different way? It's time to think about it and make a decision.
Home is a place that people want to go back to, not something that even you find it difficult to breathe and want to escape.
