Post Date December, 03 2023
People always say that love is easy and difficult to get along with. Although love has gone on, two people are always different individuals. After decades of habit formation, it is absolutely impossible to change a person. Even if it seems to be changed, but the deep-rooted thinking in the subconscious is absolutely impossible to easily erase. Meeting different people will have different topics. Suppose you meet five objects in your life, It is impossible to change your personality all the time. Isn't it schizophrenic if you go on like this?
Think carefully. In every relationship, even if the length of time we spend together varies, will we encounter the same problems? Do you always stick to the same point in every quarrel, do you really have different values, or are you unwilling to think more in the other's position? No one is really wrong. It's just that when we fight, we all strive to show our gentlemanly demeanor on our own. But the resentment accumulated by swallowing and tolerating, and all seemingly trivial things are heinous crimes. In the end, they will become the best evidence of breaking up, and in the end, we may not know how we got out!
There is room for progress only when there is a dispute, but it can't take a lifetime to check whether these seemingly regressive but more irritating words are put on the lips when two people quarrel. If so, please stop looking during the quarrel and grasp the best communication time. Don't be cold. The cold weather is colder and the heart is colder. It will take several years to find a good object. Don't let go easily. BTW, those in TV and movies are fantasy love. Don't think they are useful in real life.
1. It's all my fault
Of course, it is the different perceptions of the two sides about the wrong thing that will cause a quarrel and want to blame themselves for the wrong, but the other side may hear that it is because of you that we become wrong! When the so-called wrong fact occurs, you should think about how it happened, and why the other party cares about the wrong place. Your own habit regards this mistake as a trivial matter, but it becomes an unbearable crime after repeated occurrences.
2. It won't happen again
Because you always make mistakes, you should not make them again next time. At that time, you become extremely careful, and the pressure becomes too great. Now it becomes that you are swallowing and tolerating. Both sides start to play hard on this matter. A little slack will immediately become the focus of the argument. You won't make it again next time. Which time will you wait? Don't try to deceive the other party by shifting the focus, and take out your own shortcomings in each event for discussion between the two parties, so that you won't beat the wall at the same point.
3. I really didn't mean it
If you want to stop quarreling, please use this perfunctory sentence to make up for it. The first time is OK, but the second time will not work at all. Don't pretend to be innocent and say that you didn't mean it. If you can say so, will those who killed people, set fire or caused accidents by drunk driving also say that they didn't mean it to beg for forgiveness? Events are different, but isn't that the same principle? No one wants to make the other party angry on purpose, but before it is not intentional, have you ever thought about this event, if it can be avoided, why should it happen?
4. That's not what I mean
What do you mean? Because it is the meaning you think is right that causes the origin of the quarrel. As mentioned earlier, everyone has their own values, which cannot be changed, and it is not the way to become a so-called better person through change. Negotiation sounds like a love market. Yes, consensus can only be reached through negotiation. On the premise of consensus, the so-called meaning of the two people will get closer and closer. There is no need to explain their true meaning. It is like when it is sweet, you will feel that each other's hearts are connected, which is just a pair made in heaven.
5. I don't know what to say
That means that you don't want to solve this matter at all. It seems that you can stop the quarrel temporarily, but in fact, it will only make the other party more angry. If you don't want to solve this matter, doesn't it mean that it will end at any time? In fact, you know you want to refute or apologize for yourself, but you can't say anything. How can you? The thing you want to say is very simple, that is to say your thoughts slowly, which is hundreds of times better than saying nothing or leaving a word willfully.
