Post Date December, 03 2023
[Q]
I can't say what it is like. When my husband firmly resists to continue to live with me this time.
We met 10 years ago. He was the son of my tutor. Although his father was the top figure in the industry, he was casual from childhood, and his grades were not top. He just graduated from ordinary colleges. But he is warm, sunny and elegant. These qualities deeply attract me.
We have been dating for three years, and our relationship is quite good, but his pressure is increasing, and he has proposed to break up several times. I asked why, and he also recognized our feelings, but he admitted that my excellence made him feel pressure. He realized that I was too good for me.
I don't accept this reason. If there is anything that can separate love, it must be misunderstanding and estrangement. We usually get along so well, and these problems will not become obstacles. Later, I thought, obviously, he chose to suppress his feelings for me.
My parents don't think highly of us, and even my tutor advised us to score because we are too competitive and one yearns for freedom. But I think complementation is just right. I understand the objection of my parents only now.
Say now. When he came home, he had no smile at all. The words he often talked about were:
OK, I see. Do as you say.
Ok, stop talking. Do what you want.
Whatever. Your happiness is everything.
Last time, he was very angry and told the truth. He said, "I'm not your employee. I don't need you to pay me. I want to live a clean life without looking at your face. Is it wrong?"?
His annual salary can't match my monthly salary. It's not to say that he has a soft life. It's just to explain the actual situation. Our financial affairs are separate, and most of the family expenses are borne by me. I don't think that women can't be enterprising. Women with high incomes must match men with the same material conditions. I love him and choose him. I think that age, knowledge, experience, income, work, all these should not be attachments of our feelings, and we will not be affected by them.
However, he was particularly depressed. In recent years, I can't see that he is upset, but I am too busy to communicate with him when I get home. If I care about him, he says he is fine. What can I do?
Like before, I still disagree with him this time. I even postponed several important meetings for him. Concentrated at home, trying to handle my emotional affairs with him. Who knows that this time he will not enter the oil and salt market? No matter what I say, I will not agree with him and will resolutely separate.
I am particularly helpless. I am not good at negotiation and can make my opponents admire me in the marketplace, but I have no choice in facing him. Why? Why do you refuse me like this? Is time changing us, or are we wrong at the beginning?
[Answer]
The more capable you are, the more incompetent you are. In fact, your husband is not a worthless man, which you naturally know.
However, there is a contrast, and talent scores are high and low. As a woman, you are considerate inside and outside. Your strength has virtually formed a momentum that has overwhelmed him. He doesn't love him anymore, but this environment is too heavy for him.
He wants to escape, but you try to catch up with him, and form a new sense of oppression. Slow down, slow down, and give each other space and time. What can you do? It is not that you are required to change your image from a strong woman to a small woman who knows how to act coquettishly at once, so that the husband is not suitable, but you need to allow him to adjust his mind, just like allowing a drowning person to adjust his breathing after arriving on the shore.
He has been very tired with you for so many years. Don't ask him why again, think about what to do next. "Honey, I will consider your proposal." Use this sentence to stabilize him first.
