Post Date December, 02 2023
It is not uncommon in life to see people who are domineering and complacent, and it is also common to see people who are confident no matter what situation they are in. We don't really like these three types of people, do we? However, these people have a common characteristic, that is, they are afraid of being hurt, or they cannot afford to be hurt! So they turned on self defense!
To be honest, no one in life wants to be criticized or criticized by others. In other words, it is very difficult for anyone to face up to their own mistakes. A person who can accept his mistakes with great generosity and admit them to others must be a very brave and frank gentleman. In other words, we normal people, even those with a certain social status, can feel extremely uneasy and even angry when pointed out by others. Why are people most likely to lie when something happens? Just because people don't want to be hurt or lost, they choose to lie or shirk responsibility!
According to Freud's theory, people themselves can suffer greatly from anxiety and depression. In order to avoid or alleviate this pain, the subconscious mind will unconsciously make a choice, that is, to engage in self defense is to activate the self defense mechanism. As for the defense mechanisms of the above three types of people, psychologist Klein believes that it is significantly easier for people to confront their own mistakes and accept their own mistakes in front of others, compared to arrogantly attacking others. Klein calls this type of defense to avoid falling into a depressive state manic defense.
This manic defense has three emotional characteristics: a sense of dominance, a sense of conquest, and contempt. The three types of people mentioned above are domineering, confident, and complacent. People with these three characteristics will protect themselves by relying on their superior side, and sometimes they will also protect themselves by displaying their superior side to gain the appreciation of others. We call this self defense "narcissistic defense"!
Looking at these three types of people in life, it is easy to find them. Regarding people with a sense of dominance, we often say that some girls have a "princess disease", and those with a "princess disease" are those who have a strong sense of compatibility. We often feel that these girls are accustomed to being self centered. In fact, many of them are lacking in love, afraid of being hurt, afraid of losing, and afraid of not getting. I always have the idea that "before others refuse me, I refuse them first.". They are all very narcissistic, and obviously they feel that the people around them should revolve around themselves. Dominating others is ostensibly a form of satisfaction, but in fact, they are afraid of making mistakes by themselves and being criticized by others, so they simply dictate to others and dominate their work.
There is another type of person you can also see, namely, men who commit domestic violence. Although these men come from different families, different regions, and different jobs, they have strikingly similar characteristics, which are self-confident irritability and narcissistic self-defense. For example, Li Yang, the founder of Crazy English, has excellent English and a strong self promotion ability. He can still talk confidently and confidently under the square of ten thousand people. His confidence is like the English he speaks, and his conduct is as radical as the English he imports. No one could have imagined that a confident and proud person like this, who is a teacher, educator, and proud of himself, should be a domestic violator. He should have a big fight against his foreign wife, his assistant, and the mother of three children. In an interview afterwards, Li Yang frankly admitted that he couldn't control his emotions. This strong sense of conquest stems from Li Yang's fear of career failure, and his brutal behavior towards his wife is also motivated by a narcissistic defense mentality, attempting to protect himself by conquering others. Many people unconsciously protect themselves by dominating or conquering others when under great pressure, thereby maintaining their inner balance.
"It's easier to understand contempt and contempt for others: 'I despise external things, I despise them, if I don't see them, I won't pay attention, if I don't pay attention, I won't get hurt!'" Simple logic, but we often don't realize it. ". As for Chinese people who like to hate the rich, when it comes to wealth and money, many people despise it. Are these people really treating money like dirt? No, in fact, this is a form of inferiority complex, a form of self defense, and the fear of hurting one's self-esteem. Therefore, one chooses to treat it with contempt and contempt.
These people with a narcissistic defense mentality actually love themselves too much and are too vulnerable to harm. Fear to live in front of reality, fear of harm, and escape from pain. Their spiritual growth is very slow, and if they encounter events that cannot be overcome or defended by this defense mechanism, the entire person will collapse!
