Post Date December, 03 2023
I don't know if all women who have experienced betrayal will encounter the problem of having difficulty trusting their husbands again, but at least I am. Although things may seem to have passed on the surface, I am just afraid that one day, he will
My husband had an extramarital affair a year ago, so I chose to forgive him because I loved him. However, I couldn't let it go because before this, I had a very strong trust in him. After such a situation happened, I couldn't fully trust him.
When I found them, he said he would separate from her and promised me not to contact them again. However, in the second half of the year, I found out that they still had contact. Although it wasn't very frequent, there were several phone calls or text messages every month, which made my heart even more sad. Now I feel that I really can't accept it. I feel that I have become fragile and often think about these things, often inexplicably crying and getting angry, Of course, when I am alone, as long as he is not by my side, I will doubt and feel very uneasy. I will send text messages to tell him many things that I don't understand in my heart, telling him that I am actually very sad, but he never reflects.
But if he were with me, I wouldn't be unhappy in my heart. I feel very relieved and not sad. I know I don't want a divorce. We still have two children, the older one is only over 4 years old, and the younger one is about to give birth. I'm so afraid they'll still be in touch. I'm really sad and conflicted, and I don't know what to do.
I think he may not give up on this family to be with that woman, but I really can't believe him now. I can't convince myself, so I feel like I've been bitten by a snake for ten years, afraid of the ropes of a well. Now my heart has become as small as a needle, and the pain has become increasingly tight like a snake. Please tell me what to do and help me.
Ms. Li:
Actually, you have already made it very clear that you plan to forgive your husband. In fact, he did not disappoint your trust. From now on, he also wants to sincerely return, but your heart cannot let go and cannot completely let go.
So, my advice to you is not to deliberately forget the past, but to use new and beautiful memories to make oneself no longer think of the past. What you need to do is how to live in the present and live a good life. Especially, it's important to communicate more with your husband and create happiness and beautiful memories with him. You can do some happy things together, cultivate interests and hobbies together, travel, walk, exercise together, and so on. When you get to know him better, you can have a better grasp. At the same time, only by sharing more common happiness can you forget the unpleasant past.
Calm down and tell yourself in the mirror: He won't cheat anymore, I should trust him! It's enough to say it once, and then live with peace of mind. If you think of that unpleasant moment, immediately shift your attention.
