Post Date December, 03 2023
In fact, both men and women have a need for self-esteem, but Chinese social culture places higher demands on men's self-esteem. For example, in terms of economy, men must have stronger economic abilities than women, in terms of social status, men must be higher than women, in terms of family power, men are required to dominate, while women can only be dominant, and so on. If the opposite is true, The pressure a man has to face is great. In addition to normal self pressure, he also has to bear the heavy pressure of social culture. He has no way out, women can be weak, but men can only be strong!
To give an example that we often encounter, when a wife and her husband and children go shopping together, they may encounter the need to buy toys or other things for their children. Women usually have a calm view of the price or quality of the goods, and also need to weigh whether they should buy for their children. At this time, the waiter often goes to please the husband and find ways to let him control his wife's behavior, ultimately selling the goods. When the wife picks it up afterwards, she may feel a bit unhappy in her heart, often mocking her husband by saying, 'When you see a beautiful woman, you don't know who you are anymore.' Without a few words, it makes people dizzy. In fact, this is caused by women's usual jealousy, thinking that their husbands will immediately surrender to choose products when they see the beauty of the waiters. In fact, it is not the case. Essentially, it is because the husband is afraid of losing the right to make decisions in front of the waiters and loses the man's self-esteem. Therefore, intelligent women usually let the husband make a decision when outsiders are present, And she retreated behind the scenes (of course, she may have already communicated her views and opinions with her husband in advance), but there were also some more serious women who insisted on arguing with her husband about whether you were right or wrong. On the surface, they won the debate, but in the end, they lost their status and respect in the husband's heart. As a result, even after her husband had an affair, they still looked aggrieved and resolutely refused to reflect. This is really a regrettable thing.
Whether successful or unsuccessful in their careers, men may consider pursuing women as a way to improve their self-esteem. Especially for men who rarely have a sense of self-esteem at home, they are more at a loss and panicked when encountering the opposite sex who praises and appreciates them socially, such as in their first love: why does she praise me like this? It must be interesting to me, so in response to her praise and appreciation, he will try his best to make friends with each other. When he lacks self-esteem in marriage and is satisfied outside of marriage, a man has a grateful mentality towards a third party. At home, he may be the "bear" on his wife's lips (of course, this may also be his wife's skill of hating iron but not steel), while in front of the opposite sex outside of marriage, he becomes a tiger, Who do you think is more attractive to him? He distanced himself from his wife and became close to the opposite sex, which is really a necessary choice. Therefore, I suggest that women who are very "strong" in marriage should occasionally be "weaker". Don't be afraid of the man you love being proud. The more proud he is, he is like an indefatigable old cow, plowing hard without saying anything, and he is grateful to you immensely. In the end, he is happy, he is happy, and you are also happy.
The aspects of self-esteem that men care most about
1、 The most important thing about a man's original family is that no matter what, you may need to be cautious in expressing your views on your father-in-law and mother-in-law in front of him. Sometimes, a man may test your attitude towards his original family members. If you tell the truth, he may say it very reasonable, but he may not approve in his heart. If you lie, he may feel that you are dealing with him, so my suggestion is usually to praise the man's original family first, Look at the other person's reaction and then decide whether to use their own perspective to evaluate. For example, the mother-in-law you meet is only concerned about it. You can say that our mother is really good at living carefully. If not, how could she bring up your brother so smoothly? I really admire her. It's difficult for me to be like my mother. In fact, when you say this, the husband will naturally reveal his mother's shortcomings, He might say, 'You're too right. My mother's natural budget is actually for our brothers to grow up well, but sometimes she's too meticulous, and I can't accept it. I'm sure you may also feel aggrieved by it sometimes, right?'? Look, the less you criticize, the more naturally the results you want come. Therefore, when you want to express criticism, you usually need to do some affirmation and praise work, which is common in general interpersonal relationships and natural in marital relationships.
2、 In terms of economic income and social status. Men are naturally fond of competition and adventure, but did you know? The most annoying thing for him is that you compare him with others, because in his childhood, your mother-in-law had used such a comparison game N times, and he hated it completely. If you often give Zhang's neighbor a 10000 red envelope in front of him, and Li's neighbor adds a new car, he won't realize the expectations behind you. What he thinks of is the scene when his mother compared her academic performance with Zhang's son and Li's daughter in his childhood, He has had enough, so don't expect him to remain friendly to your conversation because you have committed his great taboo. Just like he said in front of you how beautiful and sexy Miss Zhang is, your feeling will not be as good as that.
