The preferred goal for women in choosing a spouse is to marry a new gentleman as soon as they want to

'Marry a wife and seek a lady' is an old saying. Last week, we discussed from a male perspective what characteristics a true lady should possess and how difficult it is to marry a lady. In this issue, we exchange identities and stand from the perspective of women to see how gentlemen in the new situation differ from the traditional concept of gentlemen. It turns out that the "new gentleman" not only has a set of standards in their behavior, but also shows uniqueness in taste, connotation, cultivation, and vision. They are the preferred target for highly educated women in choosing a spouse, and "if you want to marry, marry a new gentleman" has become a loudly shouted slogan among many white-collar women.

Smile like a gentleman and fight like a hooligan

In the eyes of women, neogentlemanly men, although they have the demeanor of a humble gentleman, will never become restricted by norms. Their behavior and behavior will respond accordingly to changes in the environment, but their goal is only to protect their loved ones, even if it will ruin their image without any hesitation.

If you want to find a representative figure in this area, let's talk about artist Li Yapeng. When going to attend Carina Lau and Tony Leung's wedding, a reporter beat Li Yan, Li Yapeng's daughter, at the airport. Li Yapeng immediately became angry, and after the warning failed, he even opened a fight against the other party, even if there was a woman in the other party. Some people say that doing so would damage Li Yapeng's image too much. But when Li Yapeng talked about it afterwards, he said he had no regrets at all and was not impulsive. In order to protect his beloved, he was willing to do so. Speaking of his personality, he said he has both the demeanor of a gentleman and the habit of being a hooligan, only looking at what kind of person the other person is. It is not clear how Li Yapeng's performance works in the eyes of men, but in the eyes of women, his confession is actually handsome. Women all want a husband who can walk in and out of high-end restaurants with their own hands, and also fight for their families regardless of anything. When family members need protection, the so-called face and upbringing are all forgotten.

Knowing how to establish boundaries for oneself

It is a well-known principle that one should not do to others what one does not want, but neogentlemanly men say, 'What one does not want must be told to others.'. This is a skill in dealing with people and also a wisdom of life experience. To paraphrase the popular Western saying now is' to establish boundaries for oneself '. Whether it's between colleagues, superiors and subordinates, friends, or even couples, new gentlemen and men all understand where the "boundary" lies and will maintain it in a principled manner. They not only know how to build intimate relationships and emotions, but also know why they are responsible and why they don't need to be responsible. They know how to refuse and how to accept others' rejection. When they refuse others, they can accept their anger, anger, threats, and even tears. When others refuse them, they can also accept them calmly and not dislike them.

For example, a friend came to borrow a car, but he also needs to use it himself; Relatives came to borrow money from him, but he was also struggling. A new gentleman who understands the boundaries will handle all of this without leaving himself feeling overwhelmed.

As people increasingly understand the importance of boundaries, more and more women have realized that a man who does not refuse others is like a man who drinks excessively, unable to be trusted and entrusted. So, men with neogentlemanism must possess the qualities of being able to establish boundaries for themselves.

Stop treating money like dirt

People believe that a gentleman should "treat money like dirt", even if he doesn't think so in his heart, he must still say so in his mouth and not "show timidity" in his behavior, otherwise he will not be a gentleman. However, the new gentleman man in a woman's heart is completely the opposite. New gentlemanly men not only know how to make money, but also how to use it. Their view of money no longer sees money as dirt, but rather believes that money is important, and they do not hide their views from others. If someone tells a new gentleman man that they don't care about money at all and only do this job because of interest, he will look at them with great sympathy and know that they will be slaves working for money for the rest of their lives. New gentleman men divide their spending into "prosperous family consumption" and "unprofitable family consumption". The so-called prosperous family consumption refers to the fact that this expenditure will bring more income to the family, which may be short-term or long-term. And the loser consumption is to help the family overcome the increasingly poor consumption. Undoubtedly, the new gentleman men advocate for promoting family consumption and limiting the consumption of the black sheep. Of course, to do a good job in promoting household consumption, one must have a certain level of economic acumen and investment knowledge. Finding a man like this to start a family, of course, won't worry about the rest of a woman's life.

Willing to share household chores and educate children

In the traditional sense, a gentleman would call a taxi for a woman, open the car door, help her with her luggage, press the floor for her while taking the elevator, pull a stool for her while eating, and if a woman drops a knife and fork on the ground by chance, he would lean over and pick it up for her... New gentlemanism is not limited to these things. In addition to doing these things for women, they are also willing to share household chores and educate their children. Marriage is lengthy, and days are mediocre. A new gentlemanly man will not sit upright on the sofa while his wife is busy with dinner for the whole family to keep his shirt wrinkle free. He will take off his shirt and change into casual clothes to help his wife with dinner or play with the children. Of course, it's not a big deal to pick up and drop off children from school, hold parent meetings, and take them on outings. It is obvious that a neogentlemanly man is not only a good husband, but also a good father.

Culturally

Advocating Neoclassicism

Yi Shu said that a true lady does not boast about how many books she has read or how many places she has traveled. Similarly, a true gentleman will not boast about how knowledgeable he is or how wealthy his family is. Neogentlemanly men advocate neoclassicism in culture, which means they will not copy the Western way, let alone believe that tasting red wine and smoking cigars are gentlemanly culture. Instead, they turn around and learn to draw nutrients from Chinese classical culture and become "Chinese gentlemen". Of course, new gentleman men can also speak fluent English, but they know that what they have the most weight and challenge the world is their own things. During an interview, a woman believed that Zhang Yimou, the chief director of the Beijing Olympics, could be considered one of the representative figures of neogentlemanly men.

(Intern Editor: Zhao Minqing)