Sexual Health
The marital relationship has long been severed, and my ex husband is now competing with me for custody of the child
Q:
My entanglement with my ex husband is too long. I'm afraid I won't be able to explain it clearly for a while, but I've always thought of it as a thing of the past. Since the divorce, I've decided to start all over again and never look back. I really didn't expect my ex husband to come knocking on me.
Our divorce was already 7 years ago. After completing the procedures, I finally faced up to my delayed period of absence. At that time, I thought it was due to my mood, but I only found out after visiting the hospital that I was pregnant.
It must be noted here that the reason for the divorce at that time was not that there was an issue with me, but rather that the situation was quite complex. In short, both parties felt that life could not continue. To be honest, I have never had any change in my thoughts just because I had a child. During that time, I was very disheartened, but I was not willing to give up on this child. After many ideological struggles, I finally decided to keep the child. For this reason, I have been a single mother for 7 years.
I have no complaints or regrets.
My only hope is that my life and that of my children will not be disturbed by anyone. For my ex husband, I don't want to have any intersection anymore. After all, the child belongs to my ex husband, and I don't want to see him, but I can't let my child not see his father. I admit, I thought too much of it!
I thought I had considered all possible situations thoroughly. I had thought that my ex husband would refuse to meet, refuse to recognize this child, or even have a new family, or he might not want to see or recognize the child for other reasons. I am prepared to deal with all of these! What I didn't expect was that the meeting went smoothly, and my ex husband also recognized the child (after all, it was obvious whether it was his own or not, and his eyebrows and eyes were too similar to him), but after he met the child! Unexpectedly wanting custody of the child! He wants to take the child away from me!
This is something I absolutely cannot accept. To be honest, in the days after divorce, despite the many hardships of raising a child, children bring me tremendous energy, and it is the children who support me in these days after divorce. I cannot leave the child, and the child should not be without a mother!
If I had known earlier that my ex husband would have had an idea for the child, even though he would have apologized to the child, I wouldn't have made them recognize each other. I will treat this matter as my own, it's my secret.
What can we do now? My ex husband has already started a lawsuit, and I am in great pain. My ex husband has money and power, and his family and business are big. How can I compete with him? I only want my child. When I got divorced, he gave me a sum of money that I never used because I knew I had a child and was preparing for my child's education and various expenses in the future. Now I am willing to take out all this money and only hope that experts can help me! My child is close to me, and I have been taking care of him all these years alone. I really don't want to face the situation of separation between mother and son!
Answer:
When dealing with major issues in life, one cannot take them for granted. Your original intention was that as the child grew older, it was time for them to recognize their father and son. However, you overlooked that human nature is unpredictable, and there may be situations of refusing to recognize each other, which could lead to the current situation of determined competition for children.
Especially when you mentioned that your ex husband has a solid family background, for such a family, it is unlikely that they will let you raise a boy alone. Now that the problem has arisen, we need to find ways to solve it.
I suggest that you inform the expert team of Weiqing in detail about your previous marital status and the specific reasons for divorce. These details are important and we can help you analyze and collect evidence that is beneficial to you, and discuss a plan. At the same time, you should pay attention to everything you say and do now, and stay calm. When communicating with your ex husband's family, if you have not rehearsed how to express yourself with experts in advance, be careful in your wording. You can refuse to reply or ask the other party to give you time to consider. It is important to convey the key points of communication to the experts. It is best to have the experts accompany you directly for negotiations, and try to resolve the matter without going to court as much as possible. If we cannot avoid a lawsuit, we must also be fully prepared here.
You are the mother of the child, be stronger. Back then, you had the courage to take on the child's childhood independently. Now, don't be intimidated by the sudden situation.