Post Date December, 03 2023
Q:
Last year was the toughest year in our family. My husband had some business problems, which dealt him a significant blow. Worst of all, things directly affected him personally. I clearly felt that his emotions towards life and work were beginning to lean towards negativity.
In order to avoid my husband from falling into pieces, I have been doing my best to encourage him, but the results have not been ideal. I also know that if I want to overcome this obstacle, unless his work can improve again. He is so decadent, and I can't bear to persuade him to speak casually.
I thought it would be better for him to be quiet. During that period, when he came home and didn't speak, I patiently let him do whatever he wanted. That year, he didn't take care of anything at home. I later learned that he was in charge of a lot of things for Xiao San. I am already a clay bodhisattva, but I even helped my third child arrange a job. He said that the pressure was high, and my third child was with him at that time, which made him feel very grateful. On the day I learned everything, I was so angry that I fainted. He might have been scared, and his conscience realized that as long as I was okay, everything else was easy to say. I don't think this reason holds true at all. He wants personal comfort, but I tried to persuade him with kind words at that time, but he couldn't listen. Why did Xiao San come to him with just a sip of enchanting soup?
What's even more outrageous is that he told me a lot of details to Xiao San, and I don't know what he really thinks. On the one hand, he told me that divorce is impossible, and on the other hand, he couldn't get involved with Xiao San clearly. Anyway, until now, my relationship with him is still very difficult. If this matter is not resolved for a day, I cannot forgive him for a day. Because of the relationship with Xiao San, Xiao San seems to have helped my husband straighten out some relationships, and his work has slowed down. Due to this relationship, my husband is still very polite to Xiao San and keeps in touch. Although he told me on the surface that he and she are no longer that kind of relationship, I don't believe it, How can a man and woman who have had a physical relationship still be on the table as friends?
I don't know how to bring my marriage back to normal? This time he cheated, it really hurt our marriage.
Answer:
Usually, women's intuition is accurate because they can keenly capture men's emotional laxity and negligence. If a man is dealing, a woman can detect it immediately.
Some people choose to shut their eyes and listen, while others choose to muddle through, but there is actually another option, which is to solve the problem. The problem with you and your husband is that they have not been able to resist and digest external pressure together, and have dealt with the problem in a way that they believe is reasonable, but the results have backfired. The atmosphere of freedom you gave to your husband was originally intended to relieve him of stress, but it actually facilitated the communication space between him and Xiao San. He initially approached Xiao San, obviously not to break up with you, but ended up in a difficult situation for himself.
So, zero communication between couples is not advisable. At present, there are three things to do: first, make sure he and the third have separated; second, dispel your doubts and concerns; and finally, help your husband and wife rebuild intimacy.
