The ex-husband eats, drinks, whores, gambles, and the current husband is suspicious, which makes me despair about marriage

I was married from XX to XX. Today, I am twenty-nine years old, and now I am a second marriage. I once had an unhappy marriage, and I have a daughter at my ex-husband's house. When I was 18 years old, I was cheated by others to be with a man who was more than 10 years older than me, that is, my ex-husband, but did not apply for a marriage certificate. At the age of 19, I had a daughter. But my ex-husband is not responsible at all. He eats, drinks, whores and gambles every day. He doesn't care about anything. He also owes a lot of debt outside. We live separately from our parents-in-law. In our rural areas, we have to plant crops, raise pigs and cattle, and do housework. My ex-husband doesn't care at all. I have to carry the children alone.

Many creditors came to my house to collect debts. I sold my cattle and pigs to him for my daughter's sake. But he didn't know whether to repent or to eat, drink, whore and gamble. At that time, he was really running out of steam. So I left him. My daughter was with him. Now my daughter is ten years old, but I will not contact him, because he broke my heart long ago. For children, I send money for clothes every year. The key to dragging others to children is that my current marriage is also very unhappy.

My current husband and I have a marriage certificate and a son, but their family is too distrustful of me. I have been married to him for three years, and the children have also been born. They also guard against me. Even the rice for cooking and eating is hidden, not to mention the money. His parents go to the bathroom and watch me at the door. They have to lock the door. His parents blame me for everything. They can't finish cooking and cooking, He would scold me specifically, saying that I burned it. I didn't dare to do anything at their house. Occasionally, he would burn some on the gas stove for his son to eat. His mother would also run to scold me and turn off the gas for me. I bought some Rice noodles and glucose for my son, and his mother scolded me, so I wanted to give my son some food, and I had to go to my own room to get it. His mother didn't want to see it. This is still my husband's son. If I and my ex husband owned it, his mother might have eaten me and the children. Although I sometimes send money and buy clothes to my ex-husband's daughter and me, but that's my hard money. Before I was with him, I also told him that I had an unhappy marriage and had a child. He said it was all right. But now they treat me like this, I think it's too unfair. I'm going to collapse and despair, and I don't know what to do?

reply:

Hello, if the unhappiness of your first relationship is caused by the injustice of fate, who caused the pain of your second marriage? Don't always complain about the unfairness of life. You should learn to review yourself. How do you think about it? Is it your own problem?

First of all, in the first marriage, if you didn't get a license, you wouldn't be a legal couple. Since you didn't get a license, you can leave him at any time. Why did you spend so many years with him? And after you left the man, you actually threw your daughter to a father who ate, drank, whored and gambled. So you had the heart to leave your daughter and just care about getting out of the misery? And during the period, you basically don't contact with your daughter. Have you fulfilled your responsibilities as a mother?

It is because of your shortcomings in life that you are still unhappy when you enter the second marriage, because you can't handle the relationship between people, you ignore the relationship with your daughter in the first relationship, and you can't manage the relationship with your husband and mother-in-law in this marriage. Why do these people treat you so badly? From your description, it seems that it is how cruel others are, but in fact, you can't handle interpersonal relationships yourself, If you don't know how to deal with things, you must show them the side that makes them feel bored. That's why you do this, but you don't know it. You always blame others for being suspicious of you. Why don't you think about why others are suspicious of you and whether you have a selfish side? Think more about your own shortcomings, find out your own reasons, and then quickly change it. I don't think your marriage will be the same.