Post Date December, 03 2023
"Are you happy?" The question posed by a CCTV news program has many people unable to resist laughter, while also sinking into thinking. For couples, marital happiness is extremely important. Recently, the "2012 Chinese Marriage Happiness Report" was released. According to a survey, the top ten factors affecting marital happiness are: the emotions between couples, the willingness and ability to communicate and understand, mutual loyalty, children, income, sexual life, mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship, the relationship between the other party and their family, housing and household work allocation.
The report was conducted by the China Comprehensive Well-off Research Center in collaboration with the Media Research Laboratory of Tsinghua University. The survey covered thousands of people in 287 cities across the country, involving more than ten occupations such as company employees and civil servants. Some of the data are of practical significance, and we invite experts to provide analysis guidance.
Having been married for 7-10 years has the lowest sense of happiness. According to the survey results, overall, Chinese people have a relatively high sense of marital happiness, with 81.3% of those who have been married for less than 3 years feeling "very happy", with the highest happiness index; Among respondents who have been married for 7-10 years, only 68.8% feel "very happy", the lowest proportion. Di Xiaolan, director of the Psychological Department and Marriage Crisis Intervention Center of Beijing Huilongguan Hospital, said that within three years of marriage, couples' happiness will be relatively high, because the excitement of first falling in love, the sweet world of two people, and the new life plan all provide a positive stimulus for each other. However, as time passes, marriage will usher in a "bottleneck period", commonly known as the "seven year itch". At this time, couples will have old and young age, high pressure in life and work, boring marital life, and reduced happiness. Therefore, old husbands and wives should pay more attention to "preserving marriage", care more about each other, complain less, focus on sexual life, and work together to cross the barriers of marriage.
Misconduct is the number one killer of marriage. Although some people hold "reservations" about "extramarital affairs" and "third parties," they believe that they can accept them as long as they do not violate the interests of others. However, in the survey, "infidelity" is still the primary factor driving the public to have a divorce idea, which is 17.5% higher than the second ranked "domestic violence". Li Huili, a marriage expert and national second-level psychological consultant, believes that in modern society, various opportunities and temptations increase, and the risk factors of marriage increase accordingly. Therefore, people will feel that marriage is precious and loyalty is more important than ever.
Half of couples chat for less than an hour every day. In the survey, "willingness and ability to communicate and understand" is the second largest factor affecting marital happiness. However, in real life, more than half of the respondents (58.9%) spend less than one hour chatting with their loved ones every day. Li Huili said that the longer you get married, the more important communication becomes. Therefore, old couples should especially devote one hour a day to chatting with their partners, including making phone calls before bedtime, during meals, and between work hours, to squeeze out communication time. In addition, body language can also be used to express emotions, such as leaning closer while watching TV and walking holding hands.
Six adults believe that emotions are more important than money. Modern people are generally considered to be increasingly materialistic, but in fact, more than 60% of couples believe that "affection is better than money.". Even in surveys of unmarried couples, personality, and emotions are the first factors that singles consider. Experts agree with this: "Marriage is a long-term process, and materials can slowly accumulate, but the premise is that two people must have a suitable personality and emotional foundation."
"The trivialities of life" are the primary cause of quarrels. Among the top five reasons for marital disputes, the top five are life chores, lifestyle habits, children, poor communication, and money. Wang Yuru, president of the Shanghai Psychological Counseling Association, said that while couples lead a life, quarrels are inevitable, but both parties accuse each other, disapprove of each other's views, and leave angrily. These are negative and vicious quarrels, which can lead to further estrangement between the two. A benign argument is one that does not attack the other party and deals with the matter as it is. After the argument is over, make a joke, give a gift, and resolve it in a timely manner.
