Should couples be intimate? Give each other some independent activity space. If your partner comes home more than ten minutes later than usual, will you immediately call for questioning? He is going to have a party with his college classmates. Would you have to follow him? In life, some couples hate to be conjoined with their partners and want to be with their partners at all times.
Smart couples know how to keep a proper safe distance and give each other some independent space. For men, there is a psychological term called "cave complex" - men like to stay alone in their "hole" for a while; For women, this independent space is called the third space, a relaxing time to leave home and children and meet with colleagues or girlfriends in the workplace. Giving each other some independent space also means giving each other freedom and trust.
French proverb says: On the contrary, we should leave some gaps to let the wind pass. A proper safe distance will increase the charm of each other and make marriage more interesting. This distance is reflected in four aspects.
Give each other some independent activity space
If your partner comes home more than ten minutes later than usual, will you immediately call for questioning? He is going to have a party with his college classmates. Would you have to follow him? In life, some couples hate to be conjoined with their partners and want to be with their partners at all times.
Smart couples know how to keep a proper safe distance and give each other some independent space. For men, there is a psychological term called "cave complex" - men like to stay alone in their "hole" for a while; For women, this independent space is called the third space, a relaxing time to leave home and children and meet with colleagues or girlfriends in the workplace. Giving each other some independent space also means giving each other freedom and trust.
Don't vent negative emotions to your partner
What does my husband do? Isn't it the gas station when he is in low mood? Who else can I find without him at this time? A patient who came to consult once said to me. Her practice often leads to a war between husband and wife.
The reason for this is that when a person is in low tide, he usually wants to vent these negative emotions and pass them on to others. Therefore, it is easy to find an excuse to pick and attack the other party, which will irritate the other party. Therefore, don't vent negative emotions to your spouse casually. If you have a few days of depression every month, you'd better cultivate your stress digestion ability. Jogging, yoga and other sports can help relax the body and mind, and gather with friends to relieve and transfer pressure.
Don't interfere with your partner's affairs at will
In ancient times, when emperors discussed politics, the proper concubines always backed away at the right time, never gossiping about the affairs of the previous dynasty, otherwise it would seem like offside.
I know a wife whose husband was bullied by colleagues in the company. As a result, she ran to the company and made a big noise, ostensibly to vent her anger on her husband, but made him very embarrassed. There was also a gentleman who commented on his wife's decision as soon as she wanted to enroll in an interest class.
Between husband and wife, some things involve both parties and need to be discussed together, but some things are personal, such as office relationships, some life ideals and friendship circles. At this time, you can help your partner make suggestions, but don't interfere at will.
Don't rely too much
When a girl fell in love with her boyfriend, she made more than ten calls every day, so that her boyfriend had to carry three batteries with him for backup. After marriage, she should ask her husband for advice on everything, big or small, wherever he goes. Finally, her husband divorced her because he felt extremely unfriendly and under great pressure.
Although marriage connects two people closely, it does not mean over-dependence. In modern society, everyone is under great pressure. It is difficult to maintain enthusiasm for a person who relies on himself for everything and adds too much pressure to himself for a long time. Proper independence is an important condition to make the other party more relaxed.