Post Date April, 15 2023
My affair is very complicated. Let me briefly say that I had a relationship with my boyfriend, but found that he went to open a house with his ex-girlfriend many times in the early stage of the relationship with me. During the period, he always said that he had not contacted her before he knew me, but later I found that they had been in contact with her by telephone until the end of October. At that time, he said that he had only contacted by telephone and had never met. Later, I knew that they had met and found that they had opened four rooms in September and five rooms in October. I feel that I have been greatly deceived. If I had known this fact earlier, I would never have had any relationship with him.
I met him on a blind date in the middle of September. He told me that he broke up with his predecessor at the end of August. But at the end of September, he found that they still had WeChat contact, so he broke up once. His father came to me and assured me that they would not have any contact in the future, and the man also said that he had deleted her contact information, and had just become friends with her before. In fact, they have not been disconnected at all. They have been in contact with each other on WeChat all the time. They also go to open the house as scheduled every week and contact each other on WeChat every day.
At the end of October, I asked him how many times he had slept with his ex-girlfriend. He said four or five times. In fact, from the middle of June to the end of October, they went to bed more than 20 times, but he hid me. I have tried to argue with him or with his mother, but they scolded me and asked me if I had been caught in bed. Or they should go to the court to sue him, saying that I was not pregnant and had no miscarriage. They said that I had broken up with him. What kind of identity did they use to argue with him? They also said that because I was not good to him, they found an ex girlfriend to open a house, saying that I was bad to him and always quarreled with him, His brain is broken.
The quarrel was all because of his ex-girlfriend. For example, I found out that he contacted me by phone almost every day and contacted me seven or eight times a day, but they accused me of being insufficiently tolerant, because I broke up and said I would go to my house to calculate money. They were very kind to me if they didn't calculate. I even ran to argue with them. Can that be it?
When I was with him, I was a virgin. I was afraid of pregnancy and went to a hospital for a blood test. What should I do in the future? How do I get married? I strongly disapproved of premarital sex, but his father told me how good his son was and how good he was to me, and said that I was not sincere. In fact, at that time, he didn't break up with his ex-girlfriend at all. He also went to open a house every week. Then, he always told me that he was sincere to me and that he had nothing to do with his ex-girlfriend before I said yes, although I didn't want to. He was angry and said that I didn't know how to pay, and then many times he was forced or deceived. In fact, when he first tried to do that with me, he and his ex-girlfriend still went to open a house. Later, after having a relationship, he also went to pick up his ex-girlfriend. Generally, they met to open a house. I think the truth is really hard to accept.
He told me that he had opened a room four or five times, no more than five times. In fact, he had been there more than 20 times. There were all kinds of hotels, including those in the city, the woman's town, and many people who stayed overnight. Before, his father assured me that his son's character was good, and he never stayed outside. I think their family are all liars. Although I am blind, the liars can't be said to be the fault of the cheated people. How should we solve this problem, Can I claim compensation? My future life will be destroyed, and my pain and sorrow will not matter to their family, or is there a legal way to go?
reply:
1. It has to be said that there are not only a few men and women who try sex before marriage, but also a large number of people who cohabit before marriage. As a current popular phenomenon, although it is against social order and good customs, it is difficult to restrict it by relying on old ideas. In this case, it may be difficult for a girl to keep herself as a jade, but it is very encouraging. Even if she is unable to restrain her behavior for a while, she does not need to blame herself. After all, the society has already forgiven her.
2. However, as far as you are concerned, it is obviously inappropriate and unreasonable for you to put the responsibility for your failure on the other side. You said that the other party was a liar, but you also have to admit that your ability to recognize a liar is very poor. Why did he cheat you instead of others? You know, liars can only cheat those who are easy to be cheated. If you really care about your virginity, how can you easily lose it?
3. In fact, it is meaningless to complain about how shameless the other party is after the event has happened. Since the raw rice has been cooked, you can only face the reality. Don't say how reluctant you were at that time. If you were forced to have sex, why don't you accuse him of rape? No matter how good a person thinks he is, it is useless. You need to have your own judgment and discrimination.
4. In addition, you are always emphasizing how many times your boyfriend has had a relationship with his predecessor. In fact, it doesn't matter how many times he has opened a room with his predecessor behind his back. Even if he has a relationship, it is the same as 99 times. Because he is not loyal to you and is not single-minded about his feelings, such a man has no need to continue to get along with him. The attitude of his family is also very bad to you, so it is also good to recognize the face of this family in time. Fortunately, you have not entered the marriage, and the loss you have suffered is not very large. As for virginity, if you really thought it was important, you would not easily die for each other.
5. As for the compensation you mentioned. This is your core question now. You are not willing to be cheated. You want to get a compensation from him. Do you want him to pay you a loss fee? I'm afraid this is unrealistic. Don't you choose everything of your own free will? You choose the person, you make the bed, and you lose the body. If you want to seek legal means, it is only possible to accuse the other party of rape, but do you have enough evidence? Moreover, if you sue the other party now, it will obviously lose its legal effect.
So, as a girl, don't put all the bad things on others. It's wise to reflect on your own shortcomings. If you don't sum up your lessons of being cheated, it's easy to encounter another misfortune in the future, isn't it?
