Post Date December, 03 2023
Exclusive opinion from Dr. Bonnie from Adams Media:
My professional experience has convinced me that most marriages can continue to last after a betrayal, and some are even sweeter than before. Perhaps this is because we only know how to cherish each other after we separate! But one thing must be made clear is that people who get married twice have a higher divorce demography and adultery rate than people in normal marriage relations, so this issue is very worthy of our consideration.
My view on infidelity is different from the mainstream view in today's society. When dealing with my own family relationships, I have already proven the correctness of my view, so I think my view has many merits. In the cases I have encountered, 98% of couples who have betrayed each other can live together again, and they are more connected to each other. Since so many people can repair the trauma caused by infidelity to their families, I believe you can, and even you will become the sweetest couple in the world.
Firstly, I believe that infidelity is mostly the result of a genetic emotional behavior pattern, rather than the intentional desecration of emotions by the infidelier. The infideliers strongly attempt to fulfill their childhood aspirations and heal their emotional wounds. Sometimes these traumas are caused by infidelity or other forms of betrayal at the beginning of the family's establishment.
Traitors attempt to meet their specific physiological needs by engaging in relationships with others rather than their spouse. If you understand the stage where your spouse is at, you can prevent the occurrence of infidelity, and you can help him/her free from this trauma, so that he/she will not seek pleasure from others.
If such derailment has already occurred between you, the following suggestions can give you an opportunity to redraw the blueprint of your marital relationship, so that your emotional train can smoothly and happily sail towards a happy distance. When we talk about infidelity, we can find from numerous examples that the most wasteful thing in a couple's life is the lack of trust between them.
Unlike those lascivious individuals, infidelity rarely involves a sexual aspect. In fact, some sexual cheats have a relatively satisfactory marital life. They mostly go to another person for emotional needs rather than physical needs. Not only for the simple pursuit of sexual satisfaction, cheaters want to use this way to soothe past psychological trauma. The most challenging of these issues are some that do not involve sexual arousal, where one partner's emotions are strongly attached to a third party, leading to a deep emotional rift between the couple. This rift is often followed by physical adultery.
Nowadays, such events on the internet are constantly emerging. Among the events I have accepted, those 2% that ultimately did not reunite with couples are due to their strong physiological needs and emotional emptiness. We no longer view infidelity as an emotional inheritance. Just as we understand how alcoholics crave alcohol, we view adultery as a disease.
(1) It awakens a new understanding of emotional issues, and only those who suffer from emotional torment are prone to adultery (sometimes these torments are due to their lack of love at the beginning of marriage, and even to this day).
(2) Adultery is not the main aspect of infidelity, but rather some of the symptoms covered up by it, such as lack of communication, emptiness, and lack of intimacy.
(3) Two people or unconsciously collude with a third party, but the two should not avoid facing all the problems brought about by this triangular relationship.
(4) This is a problem that cannot be solved in the short term, and some people may think that finding a third party can solve the problems they encounter between their spouses. However, imagine that neither person's problem can be solved well, let alone adding another one to make the problem more complex, which will only bring you more trouble.
(5) Both the betrayer and the victim should take corresponding responsibility for the problems that have already arisen, and each other should realize that "one palm cannot clap", and actively assume their own share of responsibility.
(6) For most couples, infidelity is a hurdle they must overcome. This way, they won't be too polite, which can make them argue with each other and enhance their relationship. As the saying goes, "hitting is a kiss, cursing is love, and not hitting or cursing is uncomfortable." In fact, this is the truth that couples strengthen communication, enhance understanding, and become more intimate and difficult to part with through this artistic beating and cursing.
