We have been married for ten years. During my separation from Huai and Er Bao, I found that my husband suddenly had contact with his classmates. There was no contact before. I also felt that it was too much, because there was no evidence, and I trusted him very much, and comforted myself that I was paranoid during pregnancy, which was just a reminder to him. He also said that I should not be suspicious and distrusted of him, and let me take care of myself, because I was not in good condition during pregnancy, which was my big mistake. I should believe in my sixth sense.
Let me briefly describe what happened between us:
First, their classmates secretly dated and said that I was not, but comforted his classmates. His classmates also talked funny and said that they should be good wives. They didn't want to be looked down upon.
Second, although his female classmate did not answer the appointment this time, the chat record was very ambiguous and the conversation was not purposeful.
Third, he went out for training in the company and was as ambiguous as the women in other companies. He kept calling and texting in the morning, middle and evening, even when cooking.
Fourth, there are also people on social networks to find young ladies, ask about places and prices. And I also care about him, and I also called him and sent him a text message, but he turned a blind eye. Instead, he said that I didn't care about him. However, when I see these facts in front of me, he doesn't care what I like to say and what I think, and he can't help it. When I ask him many questions, he says I'm making trouble for nothing, and he's just cursing.
A few days later, he went abroad on business. I want to know about the divorce. I want to get what I deserve, and sometimes I think of children, but I can't get over it. Even if he treats me better and thinks hard, I will be balanced. You can't be intimate with others. Take me as a stranger.
Brother Shan, I'm sorry for my poor expression. Please help me, too. What should I do? thank you!
reply:
Perhaps every man has the gene of flower heart in his bones, because men are animals with lower body thinking and are easily led by desire. Only some men know how to stick to their responsibilities after marriage, some men insist on restraining their bad thoughts, and some men can bite their teeth to resist temptation. After marriage, a man can't show his composure or even be ready to act, which is the typical exposure of man's nature as a wild animal. As a wife, you can't accept men's infidelity and flirtatiousness, but you must be calm and strong to face the reality in front of you, and deal with your man's unbearable actions rationally and intelligently, instead of blindly thinking about divorce first. In the face of your husband's fickleness and restlessness, here are some solutions:
1. Avoid separation. Only by staying together often can we not create cheating opportunities for each other
Many times, it is better to say I love you than to be together often. You should know that companionship is the most emotional confession. It is because you and your husband live separately that he has bad ideas about women outside of marriage, so that he can take advantage of it and have more opportunities to contact women outside. Because the other side is not around, you can't control and know his every move at all, so smart women should never agree to live separately with men. No matter what way they try, they should strive to stay together with their husbands forever, so that they can avoid betrayal to the maximum extent. In fact, the separation of husband and wife has become a basic inducement for the crisis and derailment of marriage at present, and people must pay attention to it.
2. Decorate yourself and retain men's steps through their charm
After marriage, a woman must not forget herself because of the role change. Don't neglect her self decoration just because she has a child and is promoted to a mother. No matter when a woman arrives, she should dress up beautifully, which is a necessary means for you to gain the charm of a woman. Even if you are a housewife, you should never take care of your children and be busy with housework and do not comb her hair or wash her face all day long. If you make yourself gray all day, your man will die when he sees you. How can he feel that you are attractive to him? Men are visual animals, It is easy to cause aesthetic fatigue between husband and wife. In this case, it will naturally cause him to have an affair, even to pay attention to and hook up with other women.
3. Cultivate yourself and don't be a bitter wife. Use your self-control to win the affirmation of the other party
The days after marriage are unavoidably plain, with little waves, and the trivial things of daily necessities, it is easy for a woman to have nagging and complaining habits in her family life because of some unhappiness. If at this time, you find that your husband is a little bad, you will blame him angrily, complaining that he has lost his premarital romance and the warmth he should have. However, the more you complain, the farther away your man will be from you. After marriage, women should know how to cultivate themselves and make themselves cultured, connotative, elegant and lasting. This is where you can catch your husband for a long time and avoid him seeking comfort and stimulation outside marriage.
4. Take care of each other. Don't neglect your husband because of children after marriage
Some men may be bored with their wives because they can't get their wives' attention, because they lack the necessary communication after marriage, because their wives only focus on their children, and men will develop an imbalance in their hearts. They will feel alienated and left out, and they will easily transfer their love to women outside of marriage in a disheartened state.
5. Be ruthless and timely eliminate the other party's desire to cheat in the bud
A woman can't do anything for her husband's loyalty. If she finds out that the other party has a bad intention, she should be ruthless enough to eliminate the bad behavior of the other party to the maximum extent in the bud. Don't indulge easily. Even if she is mentally derailed, she should not give the other party any breathing opportunity. Only in this way can we contain the other party's cheating and betrayal.
6. Control the economy and use the initiative to balance the other party's misdeeds
Some men are bold, upright and addictive on the issue of cheating. They often show a vicious cycle of changing their habits and committing changes. For such men, women need to find ways to control the economic initiative of the family. Only if you master the economic lifeline of the family can you be able to control his cheating. Otherwise, even if you use divorce to balance him, it is difficult to control him.
7. Strengthen yourself, strengthen your heart through self-improvement, and shock the other party with dignity
A woman must be a strong woman at all times. Only if her heart is strong enough can you have the courage to face all the changes and changes in life. We should have the bottom line, the dignity, and the face. We should not always be passive. In front of men, women can not always be submissive. Women can be weak, but they must not be weak. Only in this way can they intimidate each other in the confrontation with men. Even if the man is incurable, you will not lose the confidence and courage of life. Even if you divorce a person with a child, you will also live better.