Post Date December, 03 2023
In the process of getting along with a husband and wife, it is inevitable to quarrel, and negative emotions will continue to spread during the quarrel. In serious cases, it will affect daily life and the healthy growth of children., How can we properly deal with the problems in "getting along"? Let's look at an example.
Example: I am studying for a doctor. My daughter-in-law is 7 years younger than me. I feel tired of studying. I also have two part-time jobs. I hope I can finish reading the doctor with normal income. My daughter-in-law occasionally works very hard. Sometimes I have no mood to work with and will quarrel. I feel that I can't do what she calls little romance, and the rest are in order. I am not in the mood to accompany her because I am tired. I look forward to a relaxed and stable life. The quarrel was fierce
She will also turn over old accounts and run away from home. I can't stand her running away from home. I feel all kinds of collapse.
Very tired.
Please wake up.
Maybe we have different understanding of the concept of romance. She thinks roses and other things are romantic, while I think companionship is romantic.
We used to be more than 100 kilometers away. I promised that I would take one day to see him every week when I was busy. I would go back and forth for eight hours and see her for five hours without interruption. It lasted more than a year until now.
Faced with disasters, I feel that it is easier to fall in love in the face of disasters. On the contrary, I will not get along in peaceful days.
Yesterday, I told me that I didn't love her. I felt that it was meaningless to drag my tired body around every day, arguing, turning over old accounts, quarreling
Later, she told me that she just wanted me to coax her
I really want to make a person feel love efficiently, that is, treat him in the way he expects and approves. You think companionship is romantic. Your companionship is actually your own needs, not her needs. So your companionship is useless for her. You can send flowers directly. This problem can be solved directly. Recognizing the difference between each other is only the first step. The purpose of recognizing the difference is to get along better with the other party. You can't clearly know that the other party doesn't understand this kind of payment, and you continue to do so and complain that she doesn't understand. You can do better by combining knowledge with action.
It is better to deal with it coldly than to quarrel. When she wants to fight, she should first rush over and hold it for a long time, saying that this move should be repeated, at least around me; The second choice did not speak, and the tip of the needle added fuel to the fire of the wheat awn, which could only burn each other.
Don't judge yourself by the rules. When you judge yourself in this way, the subtext is that you have nothing wrong. There are so many happy couples in the world, and each pair has a different way of getting along. There has never been a specific formula to follow for the relationship between the couple, and it can't be simply measured by binary right or wrong. The key is that the two can find a comfortable way to get along with each other. If this problem is not solved, even if you have no problems, the quality of marriage will only get worse. So the key to solving the problem is to try and find a suitable way, not to judge.
All of the above are palliative, and the following is radical
I feel that your wife is a little girl. She attracts your attention by acting. Personally, I think it is a manifestation of her low ability and inability to solve problems. The so-called lack of security can only occur when she lacks confidence and is free enough. So the key is that she should cultivate confidence and let her find the joy of being alone, so that she can completely solve this problem. She needs to change, but if you make a clear request, you can only make it worse. The specific way to improve is:
Find ways for her to find hobbies that she can feel happy with all her heart, so that she can be better alone, and the demand for you will be greatly reduced.
See if she has the idea of further study and encourage her to continue her further study.
Encourage her to socialize more, go out more and stay at home less.
Introduce some excellent friends to her, create as many opportunities for them to live together as possible, and let her see the life of various postures. Fifthly, when she reveals her desire to further improve herself, she should give encouragement and support, such as introducing some books, letting her take some courses, and so on.
Of course, you can also try to talk with her to solve your problems, but I seriously doubt that it will have any effect. She clearly defines the value of her existence as the way you treat her. Such a woman will be terrible and sad in the future. Try to improve the way you get along with each other. Life is long. I hope you treat each other well.
