The Qixi Festival is coming, many couples are enjoying dating, but also experiencing a variety of spicy love problems. For example, a series of "If Love" questions, the most classic of which is "If your mother and I fall into the water at the same time, who will you save first?" Most people know that this is a fairly boring question, but it repeatedly appears in love stories. In fact, we can come up with many words to describe the person who asks this question - crazy thoughts, unfounded worries, idle distractions, self seeking boredom... There are always many "ifs" in their minds, making relentless assumptions about various things that have not happened, making the person they are asked not know how to answer.
The horror of anxiety is that it is both a state and an end result. Therefore, a group of people found that instead of being overly anxious, thinking too much, and adding obstacles to themselves, it is better to be a "love fool" and live happily in the present day. Do you think so?
There are many people willing to be fools
——Some questions don't have the correct answers
"When falling in love, the person who makes you smarter and smarter is just a match for each other. The person who makes you smarter and smarter is true love." Recently, I saw Lu Qi's remark and felt quite reasonable. In love, sometimes "two" is a bit silly, but it is easier to have a sense of happiness.
Would you like to be a love fool? We conducted a small survey on Weibo, and the results showed that 58% of people chose "willing. Be foolish, don't worry about yourself, and you will feel happy", 34% chose "depending on the situation. Whether you want to be foolish depends on the depth of love", and 8% chose "unwilling. Anxiety is a manifestation of love, and being foolish is self-deception.".
Some questions originally have no correct answers, such as the beginning of the sentence "If your mother and I fall into the water at the same time, who will you save first?" It is not the first to save anyone, because there is always someone who will be injured. Another example is, "Who is more attractive to me or her?" If you answer "Hello, look", it's a trick. If you answer "She looks good," you're probably beaten up. These silly questions all have several common characteristics: assuming a non-existent scene, establishing an imaginary enemy, making a pointless comparison, and expecting an answer that you don't even believe in.
It's not easy to be a fool
——Don't dwell on boring issues, but give the other person more space
If not wrestling with some boring issues is the initial stage of "love fool", then how to leave enough freedom for each other without affecting the feelings of two people is the high standard and strict requirement for "love fool". In fact, the person who can truly do this is obviously no longer a "fool".
As the old saying goes, before getting married, keep your eyes wide open; After marriage, keep one eye open and one eye closed. In reality, men and women seem to be on the contrary. When falling in love, men's smoking is demeanor, while foot odor is masculinity; Women love to dress up and go shopping, which is charming, while women love to laugh, which is lively and cheerful... When two people live together, in the eyes of women, smoking has become a bad habit that is both harmful to health and a waste of money, and foot odor has become a lack of hygiene; In the eyes of men, a woman's left and right clothes are wasteful, while being lively and cheerful is not caring for her family and restlessness.
"The so-called one eye open and one eye closed, in my opinion, is to appropriately pretend to be silly." Janet, a post 80s generation, stated that her emotional experience was quite simple, "The quantity and time of love is not the key, but the quality." Janet, who is now married and has children, said that it is not easy to be a fool. "For example, can we still have friends of the opposite sex after marriage? If a friend of the opposite sex makes an appointment for dinner, should we acquiesce in the other party's visit? Now we have reached a tacit understanding, on the premise that we both need to meet each other's friends of the opposite sex. Give yourself space, and also give each other space."
Supporters - foolishness is intelligence, foolishness is trust
"Isn't there an idiom called 'great wisdom is like foolishness'? Those who look foolish may be the true wise. I think this truth is particularly evident in love." Niuniu, 27, has been in love twice, and she said she would like to be a love fool. "A lot of boredom is self seeking, thinking they are clever at catching clues and discovering problems, but actually she doesn't know that her behavior is the root cause of the problem."
Some people believe that being foolish is actually a kind of intelligence, while others believe that being foolish is actually trust. "To maintain a foolish state in love is to trust each other, and being too shrewd is to distrust." In Sun's opinion, trust is mutual. You have great trust in me, and I will also have the same trust in you. Such trust is the cornerstone of strong love.
Opposition - foolishness is self-deception, foolishness is lovelessness
"I can accept not asking boring questions, but pretending not to see the signs of a problem, which I can't accept." Xiao Liu said, "Women are naturally sensitive and can think for a while with just a hint of it. Pretending to be silly is self-deception! I think self-deception is a very idiotic behavior, and it's better to be deceived by others. Otherwise, why so many people feel that it's okay to cheat me, but don't let me know."
Compared to Xiao Liu, Ming's viewpoint seems to be more indifferent: "I think it's possible to maintain a 'foolish' state in love for a long time, largely because love is no longer strong. The proportion of 'don't care' between two people in each other's hearts is getting higher and higher, from being unique, becoming half, and then becoming one-third. Since you don't care, there's no need to penetrate everywhere. Be foolish, and be happy and relaxed."
Smile Min 00: Being foolish is happier.
Rainbow of the Starry Sky: Actually, love is not about being silly. Trust and honesty are fundamental. In this era, the fundamental things have become scarce. Moreover, when two people get along, there are many things that need to be inclusive of each other, and one person is still angry with himself, not to mention when two people get along? So sometimes being foolish can also be a blunt force.
I'm Feifei_ GU: In love, "silly" is also a realm.