Post Date April, 15 2023
People often say that marriage is the tomb of love, and once people get married, they will face various problems. Especially for men, they have to face the pressure from both their families and work life, which many men cannot bear. So this is also the main reason for the occurrence of premarital phobia, so how do we understand men's premarital phobia?
There have always been various problems in marriage. It is a well-known fact that divorce cases have been on the rise for many years, both domestically and internationally. Even couples who strive to maintain their marital status throughout their lives may be held accountable by the next generation: as parents, your marriage is hypocritical.
From a male perspective, what is the root cause of this worrying situation?
In some marriages and relationships, the emotions of young men begin to decline from the day they get married. He trembled nervously, showing anxiety and confusion, and therefore desperately wanted to escape reality. Someone will tell a young man who is about to become a groom that the fear before getting married is normal, and one should be mentally prepared and strive to overcome it.
Just as he disregarded the call of his inner emotions on his wedding day, he continued to ignore his true emotions in order to maintain his marital relationship. When he feels upset, he will endure it and let it go.
During the day, even if he was unwilling, he had to call his wife from the office because he felt that she had this request. On weekends, he has to cook, run errands, fix things, and then sit passively in front of the TV, striving to play the role of a competent husband and father. When he and his wife are socializing with other couples, he has to play the role of a hospitable host or a likeable guest, but in reality, he has no interest in it.
So, many of his actions were against his will, just to meet his need to overcome, negate, and embellish negative emotions, which inevitably made the marriage a heavy burden and ultimately led to its breakdown. Only then did he allow his long suppressed anger to erupt.
Family and friends may give a vague explanation of their inner thoughts and activities that can lead to guilt, such as: "You are afraid of approaching women and taking on responsibilities." "You are unwilling to take on the burden of life." "You are unwilling to give up your personal freedom." "You are an immature expression.". Then they will comfort him and say, 'You will definitely overcome these fears and doubts, and you will gradually mature in the process of overcoming them.'.
The word 'fear' that leads to guilt is often used to explain men's resistance and negative emotions. It is like a banner or a call to battle, successfully inspiring men to bravely accept severe tests, overcome difficulties, and show their perseverance. He suppressed his secret and genuine emotional needs in this way. From then on, when he tried to overcome the strong reactions caused by fear and resistance, he not only achieved nothing, but also left hidden dangers for the breakdown of his marriage relationship.
