Post Date December, 03 2023
Qin and Ming have been together for almost ten years from elementary school to college, from friends to lovers, but after less than a year of marriage, they feel a faint sense of disharmony. They are not satisfied with the current marital life situation. Qin said that Ming was gentle, considerate, and performed well, but it didn't last long; Ming said that his wife is very considerate of him, because he cannot make his wife more satisfied.
What exactly is the reason? Originally, Qin and Ming had sexual intercourse very early before marriage. At that time, they were afraid of being discovered, so they made every appointment to "make a quick decision". Over time, it became a habit, and after marriage, they couldn't change this habit. Qin suspects that her husband may have a physical problem, and if this continues, there may be cracks in the marriage.
Analysis by sexual psychology experts:
This is not a sexual physiological problem, but a typical sexual psychological problem. The traditional emphasis on avoiding premarital sex is only from the requirements and explanations of morality and chastity. In fact, the harm of premarital sex is equally serious for boys and girls. When premarital sex occurs, the social impact of pregnancy on girls is well known. If not pregnant, it should be said that premarital sex is far more harmful to the sexual psychology of the man than to the sexual physiology of the woman.
Because when premarital sex occurs, both parties, especially men, are often nervous, and are afraid of being discovered, they will psychologically complete it as soon as possible. Over time, men will develop a "complete as soon as possible" sexual psychological reflex in their brains. So even if we get married, this already formed conditioned reflex still exists. The quality of life for couples is not high, and the man may psychologically mistakenly believe that he has lost interest in the other party, often seeking extramarital sexual stimulation through seeking novelty, which is commonly referred to as extramarital affairs. Then, the man will fall into a new vicious cycle of "completing it as soon as possible" under unsafe conditions of extramarital affairs. This is what we usually say, "This man has bad qualities and can't grow with anyone. This type of case accounts for a large proportion of young couples.
Guidance from experts in sexual physiology:
1. After both parties understand the cause of sexual dysfunction caused by premarital sex from the perspective of sexual psychology, they should consciously start from reducing the frequency of husband and wife's life, and get rid of the unhealthy sexual psychological model established previously.
2. When creating a new sexual psychological model, couples start as lovers and first love lovers, review their love history, and explore the path of love. Then, in a safe and warm family atmosphere, both parties start from scratch and fully enjoy the beauty of life.
3. Wives should dress themselves up meticulously like when in love, fully mobilizing and nurturing their husband's freshness towards themselves.
4. In future marital life, the wife should intentionally maintain a sense of distance from her husband and not "respond to every request", allowing the husband to continue to strengthen new sexual psychological and physiological signals.
