Post Date December, 03 2023
There may be many reasons for men's extramarital affairs, such as "men are naturally promiscuous". This is the theory of nature, and it is also the theory of "acquired education". In this article, I try to analyze men's extramarital behavior from the lack of men's self-esteem needs, hoping to give the majority of women a new inspiration.
In fact, both men and women have a need for self-esteem, but China's social culture has put forward higher requirements for men's self-esteem. For example, in terms of economy, men must be stronger than women's economic ability, in terms of social status, men must be higher than women's, in terms of family power, men are required to dominate, while women can only be dominated, and so on. If the opposite is true, The pressure that a man has to face is very big. In addition to normal self pressure, he also has to bear the heavy pressure of social culture. He has no way out. Women can be weak, but men can only be strong!
For example, when a wife goes shopping with her husband and children, she may buy toys or other things for her children. Women usually take a cool look at the price or quality of the goods, and also weigh whether she should buy them for her children. At this time, the waiters tend to please her husband, and try to let her husband control her behavior, and finally sell the goods. Later, when the wife raised it, she was somewhat unhappy in her heart. She often satirized her husband and said, "I don't know who I am when I see a beautiful woman.". In fact, this is usually caused by women's jealousy. They think that the husband will immediately surrender to choose goods when he sees the beauty of the waiters. In fact, it is not. In essence, the husband is afraid of losing his right to make decisions in front of the waiters, and loses his self-esteem. Therefore, intelligent women usually let the husband make decisions when outsiders are present, While she retreated behind the scenes (of course, she may have communicated with her husband about her views and opinions in advance), but there were also some more serious women who insisted on arguing with her husband about your right and my wrong. On the surface, they won the debate, but ultimately lost their status and respect in her husband's heart. The result was that after her husband had an affair, she still looked aggrieved and resolutely refused to reflect. This is really a pity.
Men who are successful or unsuccessful in their careers may take pursuing women as a way to improve their self-esteem. Especially for men who have little sense of self-esteem at home, when they meet the opposite sex who praise and appreciate themselves in social life, they will be more confused and flustered like first love: why does she praise me like this? It must be interesting to me, so for her praise and appreciation, he will try his best to make friends with each other. When he lacks self-esteem in marriage and is satisfied outside marriage, the man is grateful for the third party. At home, he may be the "bear" of his wife's mouth (of course, this may also be the wife's skill of hating iron but not steel), but in front of the opposite sex outside marriage, he becomes a tiger, Who do you think is more attractive to him? He alienates his wife and is close to the opposite sex, which is really the inevitable choice. So I suggest that women who are "strong" in marriage should occasionally be "weak". Don't be afraid of the pride of the man you love. The more proud he is, he will be like an indefatigable old cow, plowing hard and not saying anything, and he will be grateful to you. Finally, he is happy, he is happy, and you are happy.
Some aspects of self-esteem that men care about most
1、 The most important thing about a man's original family is that in any case, you may have to be careful to express your views on his parents-in-law in front of him. A man may sometimes test your attitude towards his original family members. If you tell the truth, he may say it is very reasonable, but he may not agree with you. If you tell the truth, he may think you are dealing with him, so my advice is usually to praise the man's original family first, Look at the reaction of the other side and then decide whether to use your own point of view to evaluate. For example, the mother-in-law you meet is just a matter of concern. You can say that our mother is really very careful to live. If not, how can she pull your brother up so smoothly? I really admire her. I can hardly do what my mother does. In fact, when you say this, the husband will naturally tell his mother's shortcomings, He may say, you are right. My mother's natural budget is for our brother to grow up well. But sometimes she is too careful, and I can't accept it. Maybe you will feel aggrieved sometimes? Look, the more you don't criticize, the results you want will come naturally. So when you want to express criticism, you usually need to do some affirmation and praise work, which is common in general interpersonal relationships and natural in marital relationships.
2、 In terms of economic income and social status. Men naturally like competition and adventure, but do you know? The most annoying thing for him is that you compare him with others. Because in his childhood, your mother-in-law didn't know how many times she used the game. He hated it. If you often gave the neighbor Zhang 10000 red envelopes in front of him, and the neighbor Li added a new car, he would not be able to see the expectation behind you. What he thought of was the scene when his mother compared her academic performance with her son and daughter Li in his childhood, He has had enough, so you don't expect him to be friendly to your conversation, because you have made his big mistake. Just like he said in front of you how beautiful and sexy Miss Zhang is, your feeling will not be better.
