I'm almost bored to death. Every time my sisters sit together and talk about their own men, they always say that my husband is that kind of person. I've also muttered in my heart that he's just a bit lascivious. Every time I bring my female colleague, good friend, and good sister home to play, he is very excited and seems to be very excited. At first, my friends said he was easygoing and hospitable, and I was quite satisfied. After leaving, I even rewarded him with a few kisses and thanked him.
But over time, I have noticed many times that his gaze at women is very strange, always stealing glances at sensitive parts, especially the four or five good sisters who often come to my house to play, all told me that I have had some embarrassing experiences when he looked at me. As long as someone else dresses sexier, he can't control his own eyes. He always looks for opportunities to stare at their private parts, and more interestingly, he always looks for opportunities to get closer to me or sit directly across from me. For example, actively adding water, handing fruits, picking up things, tidying up melon seed skins, playing video games next to the teacher, touching someone's body while taking the opportunity, and the lewd smile when saying goodbye. I think he must have a stomach full of bad water. Recently, I rarely bring them to play at home, and he often asks about me as if he is thinking about it.
One thing that bothers him is that the sisters just want to come and sit down for a while and chat. Everyone is used to it on weekdays and doesn't go out. Just have something to eat at home and don't drink a glass of water. But he insisted on spending money, going downstairs to buy a bunch of things, and even forcing himself to eat at home. He also set up a table and threatened to show off in public. I'm not afraid of spending money, either because I think he's too verbose. My friend can come and entertain me, and I can do whatever I want. Men don't mind. But he also taught me, 'I have to be frugal in my own life, and generous in my hospitality.' This is the rule of life, and I am so angry.
We have only been married for over six months. Will he do anything more vulgar and indulgent in the future? I'm worried to death. I didn't realize he had this problem when I was in love. Did he pretend at that time? Are men all very hypocritical? Like him?
Editor's Reply: After reading your letter, I feel that although you are married, you still seem like a little girl with lingering jealousy. Of course, maturity also requires a process. Are men all hypocritical and lascivious? This question is really difficult to answer, but I'm sure most men behave in ways similar to your husband. I also often glance at women, especially beautiful and sexy women. May I ask you a question? What about women? Why wear something so revealing, so beautiful, so stimulating, and so showy?
I still agree with your husband's living principles, 'You have to be frugal in your own life and generous in your hospitality.'. Whenever you find him verbose, you can change your way of thinking. If you go to a friend's house and their lover ignores you, or remains indifferent, or indifferent, what is your mood? Would you secretly curse him for being alive and dead? Your husband may be paving the way for you.
When in love, both men and women may disguise themselves, which is true. Both parties want to leave the best impression on each other, and it is easy to get out of shape. I always feel that you are exaggerating about the issue of 'he can't control his own eyes'. Why did you only notice it after hearing a friend talk about him? It's also possible that he just glanced a little too far. As for "getting close", "touching", and "lewd laughter", they are all expressions of some "bad men", but they have not "teased", "seduced", or "boldly" in front of you. They are just some common small faults of men. Don't they also say that he is "easygoing" or "hospitable"? You even kissed him.
Can you tell me the troubles in your heart? I'm glad you trust me, but can you bring these troubles to life and have a friendly conversation with your husband? Listening to his own reactions and opinions makes it easier to solve problems. At the same time, you can also observe his attitude towards same-sex friends, see if his eyes are also strange, and whether his hospitality is also generous.
Your marriage has just begun and is still in the stage of understanding. Don't think so badly of him. You are his wife, you can directly remind him, warn him, threaten him, but these must be based on love, he can understand. Finally, I wish you happiness in your new marriage and a happy marriage for a hundred years. His problem still needs you to continue observing. Don't be fooled by everything, be vigilant, just pay a little attention, and I believe he understands how to make improvements.
(Intern Editor: Cai Junyi)