Post Date December, 03 2023
[Case description]
My husband and I have gone from being a couple in school to the present situation, which is not what I want.
When we were in love, we were still studying, and their school was not in the same city, but we didn't feel hard. It was sweet to call and text every day. At that time, the happiness was very simple. It was very satisfying to hear each other's voice every day. Each other is the whole world of each other.
At that time, we were very determined and convinced that we were the other half of each other. We were going to get married as soon as we graduated. His parents are very supportive, but my parents are not very satisfied with him. I think my husband likes to exaggerate and is not simple. But I think it's better for men to have masculinity. I hate men's mothers most. Men who are too honest don't understand their tastes.
I have made up my mind, but my parents' attitude is also firm. They just feel that my husband's character is wrong. It's no use how I praise my husband's merits. Their eloquence is glib, and their masculinity is male chauvinism.
Although, later facts have repeatedly proved that it was me who looked at me in the first place. My parents have lived for decades, and have walked more bridges than I have walked. They are really accurate in judging people. But I see beauty in the eyes of the lover, and I can't see any shortcomings of him. That's all after.
The final result was that he and I got the certificate successfully, but because my parents were very dissatisfied with the marriage, there was no wine in our house. Their house held a wedding, but the wedding, to be honest, let me down. I felt too casual. It was not the wedding I wanted at all. His parents were kind to me, but I felt that they didn't care who their son married, as long as they could marry a wife. This also makes me feel bad. I feel that I am not valued. Fortunately, my husband loves me, which alleviates my discomfort.
As time goes by, contradictions arise.
He didn't have a strong diploma. After graduation, he went to business with his second uncle. I work as a cashier in a company. I didn't have any opinions about his business at first, but because of his business, he spent less time with me. Especially in the evening, there are always social engagements. Either the boss or the boss, a group of people get together and drink when they eat. After drinking, they go to sing karaoke. Every time they return home, it is 9:00 or 10:00 at the earliest. It also smells of alcohol and smoke.
At the beginning, I was generous. I waited patiently at home when I received a message from him about going to dinner. His brother's wife, as long as her husband did not return home for an hour beyond the normal time, began to make desperate calls to track his whereabouts, even if he stressed that he was engaged in entertainment. I didn't do this. I gave my husband full freedom. In fact, when he doesn't come back, I feel very uncomfortable. I can't help thinking about who he is with and what he is doing. But every time my husband comes back, he always swears to me that I won't do anything wrong to you.
It is impossible to experience the taste of waiting for your man at home every day without experience. The feeling of heart intertwined. I am alone, facing the fluorescent light on the computer screen, miss the time when I was always with my husband at the beginning of my love, and I can't help but feel sad. It has been a long time since I received his phone call. The content is to tell me that there is another dinner in the evening; Received a text message, but told me that I would be late at night.
The focus of my life is to wait, wait, wait.
Once, it was rare for him to come back early. I decided to make him a good treat, and planned to cook sweet and sour pork tenderloin. Unfortunately, there was no sugar at home, so I asked him to buy a bag at the small supermarket downstairs. As a result, he went for a long time and didn't come back. I was about to call him and ask him. When I looked at my mobile phone, a text message came from him: "Wife, when I meet Boss Liu, I will chat with him for a while and come back immediately."
I held my cell phone and sat for a long time.
At the end of the day, he came back at eleven o'clock. His "chat" lasted nearly five hours, and I waited at home for five hours. When he saw me, he remembered and apologized. He said that his wife was sorry and had too much fun talking. Later, he was dragged to drink by Boss Liu and forgot to call you. Don't be angry with her.
He just forgot to deal with the matter easily, but did he think about it? I haven't eaten the meal until now. The grievance in my heart immediately turned the river upside down. I couldn't say anything, and tears fell down in large pieces. I said in a trembling voice that you have forgotten your wife. What else can't you forget.
That time, he coaxed me for a long time before I recovered.
I thought he could change, but it turned out that I was naive. He still went home with a whiff of wine. I told my parents about the situation. They were both distressed and angry. They scolded me and said, I told you at the beginning that this is not a man of duty. You have to follow him. Now it's all right, let's see what you do. I know my parents are worried about me, but their words make me more sad. It is impossible for me to go to my friends and tell them that my husband and I were sweet at the beginning. My classmates and friends are all visible to everyone. Now that our family is like this, who can tell us. It's even more impossible for me to complain to my parents-in-law. They don't pay attention to my daughter-in-law, and saying that will only increase their antipathy to me.
Tell my husband directly that he always made good promises, but he never made any promises, such as coming home on time, not drinking any more.
A week ago, on our wedding anniversary, I repeatedly reminded him that this day should be free for me anyway. He promised well. What about the result? Actually, I didn't expect much. It was only that day that I watched the clock go from six to twelve, and the carefully prepared food on the table was completely cold, before he entered the house.
This feeling of disappointment to the extreme is too painful. I feel that I can't support myself anymore. Who can help me?
[Answer]
At the beginning of men's career struggle, busyness is understandable, but "being too busy" and even forgetting important dates and agreements between you can't be justified.
Many men have this mentality. They think that when their wives marry home, it is no longer necessary to chase them as hard as when they are in love. Some words and deeds are relaxed, and the contact with their wives is not as frequent as when they are in love. If this is the only way to solve the problem, you can express your wish to your husband that you need to take care of him, so as to change his mind.
Your focus should not be on "he always comes home late", but on "why he always comes home late". This is not to guide you to think about the bad, but to hope that you can prevent it from happening. You know, a man who always lingers at dinner and party at night is also likely to be tempted by the outside world. Extramarital affairs are the poison of marriage. This is not alarmism. If you want to keep your marriage, you cannot tolerate, wait, and yield.
