Post Date December, 03 2023
Wife: Kiss one!
Husband: Boo!!
Wife: Another kiss!
Husband: Boo~
Wife: You still need it!
Husband:... hooligans!
Sleeping at night, robbing his arm from my husband, he couldn't resist!
"My wife was in a hurry, so she said, 'I'm sorry, you should just follow Abbess!'"! My husband laughed until his hands softened. So my wife succeeded.
One day, my wife got up early and left 200 yuan for my husband to put on the table (my wife is the finance minister of the family). After going to work, I estimated that my husband was up, so I sent him a text message: "Husband, on the table is the service fee for you last night.".
My husband replied, "Is the full service only 200 yuan?"? Go find a rich woman tomorrow.
Husband: There are so many people taking the bus today, but I saw a beautiful woman in the crowded car!
Wife: Anger!
Husband: She even accosted me!
Wife: What did she say to you
Husband: Stay away from me!
"My husband will be harassed by text messages during his boring study: Little girl, give me a smile!"!
Wife Reply: My guest, please be self-respecting. I don't sell myself, not my skills!
My wife is on a business trip: I cannot come to bed tonight. Please take an early rest and refresh yourself, and come back tomorrow to check my name.
Husband: I have three thousand beautiful women in the harem. You don't have to worry too much about this. You still have to endure loneliness
Wife: It seems that I must come back tonight!
Husband: Joking and joking, although there are many signs of my harem, they all write one person's name!
During the boredom of toileting, communicate with your husband by shouting: Boy, sing a song to the master!
Husband: In silence...
Wife: What? Afraid that I can't afford the silver, master?
Husband: I haven't paid off the credit before!
About taking things
Wife: Take this bag, too.
Husband: I already have four bags. Are you sorry you didn't take anything?
Wife: Then I'm still holding you! "You weigh over 100 kilograms, and the things I carry are much heavier than those you carry.".
About Walking
Wife: Let's walk all the way to that road.
Husband: It's too far to go there. I won't be able to walk back in a moment.
Wife: It's okay, you carry me back.
About Buying Clothes
Wife: Does this dress look good?
Husband: Nice looking.
Wife: You just perfunctory me, want me to finish buying as soon as possible and go home!
Wife: Does that dress look good?
Husband: Not good looking.
Wife: You can't bear to buy it for me!
About doing housework
Husband: Let's divide the housework.
Wife: Good. First of all, let men do dirty and tired work, such as cleaning the floor, washing the toilet, cleaning the table
Husband: That's right.
Wife: You're studying science and engineering, and I'm studying liberal arts. You have to do things with electricity, such as washing machines, refrigerators, rice cookers, and electric irons
Husband: This... OK!
Wife: Male dominates outside, female dominates inside. You have to do the work of dealing with outsiders, such as buying vegetables, paying water and electricity bills, collecting newspapers and milk
Husband: OK, OK, then what are you doing?
Wife: Don't worry. The cooking fume in the kitchen is so big that it can damage the skin. You have to do your cooking.
Husband: Just tell me what you're doing.
Wife: I also have a lot to do. I can accompany you, supervise you, praise you, comfort you
About Children
Wife: Let's have a child.
Husband: OK.
Wife: So do you like our children?
Husband: Yes.
Wife: That won't work! You have to like me alone!
Husband: Okay, okay, I just like you alone.
Wife: Why don't you like my child!
Husband: Let's... stop having children.
About the truth
Wife: Look, that girl is so beautiful.
Husband: What are you looking at.
Wife: What do you mean! Why don't you keep in line with me!
Husband: Good looking.
Husband: Hey, don't go, why are you ignoring me?
About eating
Wife: I've eaten half of this plum, it's delicious. I'll give you the rest.
Husband: I don't like plum blossoms.
Wife: No, you just love it! Do you dislike what I've eaten!
Husband: This fish is delicious. Come on.
Wife: You touched your dirty chopsticks, who ate them!
Husband: Then I still eat half of it. I don't dislike you. Why do you dislike me?
Wife: That's right. I hate you, which means I'm cleaner than you. I'm cleaner than you. Why do you dislike me?!
About getting up
Husband: Got up, got up, didn't you say you had to get up early for a meeting today.
Wife: Don't talk, I'll sleep for a while.
Husband: Get up quickly, or you should be late.
Wife: Don't touch me! I want to sleep!!
Wife: Ah! It's time to be late! What did you call me!
On gender equality
Husband: It's said that men and women are equal, does our family also have to be equal?
Wife: Okay. You guys have bullied women for thousands of years. "We have to bully you for thousands of years, and then equality is the true equality.". Don't worry, in a few thousand years, our family will be equal.
About happiness
Wife: Are you particularly happy to marry me?
Husband: I don't think so. "You're unreasonable, you don't work, and you're always making trouble. How can I be happy?"?
Wife: This is your happiness. "I am unreasonable. If it weren't for my sacrifice, would it reflect your generosity?"; "If I don't work, I have cultivated you. If you have more skills than you can handle, your ability is not good enough."; "I've been tossing people around, so how colorful your life is! Look, your marriage life is not as monotonous as other people's homes.".
About drinking water
Wife: Husband, I want to drink water!
Husband: I'll pour it for you.
Wife: Yes, I just want you to pass it to me.
About leadership
Wife: I'm not a leader outside, so I have to be a leader at home. "If you are a leader outside, you have to be led at home.".
Husband: What if I can't be a leader outside?
Wife: What kind of man is a man who looks at people's faces outside and comes home to show off his wife's authority!
About Reasoning
Husband: You're unreasonable.
Wife: I've never talked reason with you, and home is not a place to talk reason. Besides, you are a man and 8 months older than me. You have to let me go.
About money
Husband: In the future, I will give you the money I earn in proportion. I will also keep more money as I earn more. This will have a positive impact.
Wife: Good.
Husband: What percentage shall I give you?
Wife: One hundred and two percent.
About Center
Wife: I have always been the center in our family, and I have also been the center in your family.
Husband: Then I have always been the center of our family.
Wife: But my center is more important than yours.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Because I'm a daughter, you're just a kid.
About Ideas
Wife: Let's go out and play.
Husband: Okay, you can go wherever you want.
Wife: I want to have an idea and tell you!
Husband: You never agree with my idea.
Wife: What idea is that I don't agree with? It's called perfunctory! You have to keep having ideas until I'm satisfied.
About making phone calls
Wife: Why don't you call me?!
Husband: Pour a rake! It was agreed that you would call me today. As a result, I waited all day, but I still called you.
Wife: I said it, but I changed my mind again. Zhang Ailing said, "Women have the privilege to change their minds.".
Husband: Did you change your mind and tell me?
Wife: I said, what I said in my heart is, who made you and my heart not connected.
About Friends with Different Surnames
Wife: I can have a boyfriend, you can't interfere with me.
Husband: Okay, I'll have a girlfriend, too.
Wife: No way!
Husband: Why can't you do it? I can't.
Wife: I make a boyfriend, and if someone else can do it if you can't, I won't always pick on you, which is conducive to family happiness. "You make a girlfriend, and I have a small heart. Being jealous and quarrelling with you is not conducive to family stability.".
Husband: Then I have a small heart.
Wife: A man, like a woman, has a small heart. Thank you for saying so!
About mood
Wife: When I work, I feel bad, which will reduce the quality of our marriage.
Husband: Then I'm not in a good mood at work.
Wife: Your psychological endurance should be stronger than mine, because you are taller than me, and your heart should also be bigger than me!
About Extramarital Love
Wife: Nowadays, there are many extramarital affairs on TV. Do you think you will have extramarital affairs?
Husband: No.
Wife: Why?
Husband: I'm sorry enough to have you alone. I can't have a second one!
Wife: Little girl, come here and have fun with me
Husband: You're itching again, aren't you?
Wife: Hey, it's quite powerful. I just like a girl like you who looks like a man!
Husband:
Husband: Wife, I'm back
Wife: Yo, my guest, you are here. Which girl do you like?
Husband: Are you sick again?
Wife: Don't worry, the girls here are absolutely on time!
Husband: I *, I just took a fancy to you, the pimp!
Wife: Well, maids and maids do not sell themselves but their skills
Husband: Performing arts is also good!
Wife: I am a maidservant and I have a family tradition of painless castration. My guest, would you like to try it?
Husband:
Husband: I'm really angry this time!
Wife: I have already apologized. Don't be angry with my husband!
Husband: I don't want you to apologize. I just want to hear from you that you love me, but you just don't say it!
Wife: I love my husband just like the sun rises from the east, and humans need to breathe in the same natural air. Anyone you've ever seen who cries every day when they see the sun, wow, the sun is rising! Who shouts when they breathe every day, wow, I'm breathing air! So ah, I love my husband and don't need to shout at you every day, wow, I love you so much!
