Post Date December, 02 2023
Many people who enter into marriage have a "treasure trove" to deal with the relationship between husband and wife, such as setting aside time to get along with their partners, appreciating each other, and saying more positive words. But marriage experts pointed out that some seemingly insignificant and slightly strange factors in life may also harm the happiness of couples. The website of "Women's Day" in the United States recently put forward nine unexpected factors that have a devastating impact on marriage by integrating many of the latest research results.
Always one side makes decisions
People usually think that the one who has no voice in marriage life will not be happy. However, researchers found that the strong one is more likely to feel hopeless about marriage. Suggestion: If one party always obeys the other party's opinions when making joint decisions, it should express its own opinions in the future; If the final decision at home is often made by you, you should take turns as the clapper in the future.
Different memories of important events
A survey in 2003 showed that different memories of past events between husband and wife usually affect the marriage relationship. Suggestion: Dr. Sarah of the University of Wisconsin Madison said that for some milestones in life (such as engagement, house purchase, etc.), couples should talk carefully and reach an agreement as much as possible to avoid conflicts when recalling in the future.
Unrealistic expectations
The study found that people who expect too much in the middle of marriage ("we will have a perfect sex life") are more likely to feel disappointed in the first year of marriage than those who have more realistic expectations ("we will work together to lead a good and positive sex life"). Suggestions: Professor Lisa Neff of the University of Texas at Austin said: "There is no perfect marriage, and specific expectations that are too optimistic usually end in disappointment". However, positive and optimistic expectations should not be abandoned in marriage, but should be controlled.
Always show people in perfect condition
A new study found that in the eyes of your partner, "being perfectly and idealized" will not make you happy. On the contrary, you will feel that your spouse does not really recognize yourself. What's more, what you do should meet the ideal standard of your partner as much as possible, which adds additional pressure and makes you feel insecure. Suggestion: Some little adoration to your spouse will sublimate your feelings, but you must not overdo it, and must be rooted in the real advantages of the other party.
Too much SMS communication
Researchers at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington have found that if couples communicate mainly by text messages rather than face-to-face or telephone calls, their satisfaction with marriage is usually not high. Suggestion: Researchers believe that the reason is that people who love to send messages are usually evasive and more anxious. However, it is not necessary to completely abandon SMS, but more face-to-face communication should be carried out.
Lack of curiosity
Curiosity kills cats, but curiosity can bring wonders to marriage. Researchers believe that people with curiosity are more willing to see difficult situations as challenges rather than threats. And they are better at communication, more flexible and open to new solutions. Suggestion: If a happy marriage is in trouble, you must think curiously about whether it provides a good opportunity for the conflict between husband and wife to find different solutions to the problem.
Too concerned about whether the relationship between husband and wife is close
We all have this feeling. When hiking, we always ask "Are we nearly there", which makes the destination feel more and more distant. Similarly, if you always ask yourself "Are we close enough" in your marriage relationship, it will make it impossible to have a close relationship between husband and wife. Suggestion: couples only need to have more common activities and experiences, so that the sense of closeness can be revealed naturally, and can never be forced.
Expect your husband to be a gentleman
Some women generally have unrealistic ideas about men. They think that men should respect, protect and cherish women like elegant knights. Suggestion: Men should not always be so polite. The occasional quarrel and conflict does not mean that the husband is not like a real man, nor does it mean that he no longer loves you.
A study found that trying to be better and more perfect in the eyes of the other party will make the marriage fragile. Suggestion: The pursuit of striving for better performance will usually bring negative feelings such as competition, confusion and fear, while the pursuit of tolerant goals will bring positive feelings such as cooperation and love.
