My mother-in-law embarrasses me, and my husband can't get along with me. What does their family mean

Q:

My experience can be summarized in four words: the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Before my mother-in-law moved over, my husband and I were really two people soaking in a honey jar. Life was called a sweet and greasy affair. "Later, when the child was born, and at the insistence of my husband, my mother-in-law finally moved to our house, which also taught me a painful lesson.".

At that time, I thought that my mother-in-law would take care of me at most for the first time, and then I could do it myself. I didn't want to ask my mother-in-law to help with the child, because I went back to see my mother-in-law during the Spring Festival every year. I knew her personality, she was not very easy to get along with, had many things to do, was picky, and was particularly lenient.

Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law refused to leave after staying. She also said that the room was empty, so it would be better for her to help us here. I really wanted to cry without tears. I mentioned it to my husband several times, but he was not happy. He said it was his mother. If I didn't like his mother, I wouldn't like to see him.

The problem is, my mother-in-law has been living in this house for a long time. Not only did I not find it more convenient, but rather it was more restrained. "If it weren't for my own parents abroad, how could I have my mother-in-law come over to serve my baby?"? The most angry one is my husband, who originally agreed not to find a month's wife, but my mother-in-law took care of me and returned to my hometown in the countryside after two months. (If conditions permit, don't look for a month's wife, I just suffered a big loss. My husband and his family are very opposed to month's wife, and they are not at ease.) But what about the result? My mother-in-law didn't mean to leave when she came, and my husband didn't say anything about it. I couldn't keep intimate with his mother all day long. There was no room for me and him!!

"My mother-in-law takes care of the child, which is not what I said. I can't really see it. When I went out to buy a dish, the child cried so much that she didn't even know to check it out. She kept calling to urge me to come back quickly to feed the child. I went home and found out where the child was hungry!"! Shit and urine are stuck in the crotch, making the child uncomfortable! And the milk I milked before I went out was right next to the refrigerator, and my mother-in-law didn't know how to feed the baby. She can't do it at all. I really don't know how my husband grew up when he was a child.

"I regret it so much. I haven't said anything yet, but my mother-in-law told her husband that her daughter-in-law disliked her and caused her husband to come and argue with me. My anger is really unbearable. I said you should take a look at what your mother has done to help you. I have to cook and cook for both of you at the first month of my life, and I am the only one who is taking care of the child!"! My husband actually said, "Didn't my mother cook for you?"? Didn't you blame my mother for cooking so badly that you decided not to let the old lady cook? Now, is my mother helping?

I'm going to faint. Can I eat his mother food? Grandma has a heavy mouth, and the vegetables are salty and salty. During lactation, it is necessary to reduce salt intake. How can I eat this!

What's more annoying is that my mother-in-law also asked my husband for fees every month. This fee was put forward by me on my own initiative. I can't let my mother help us for nothing. My husband was very happy at that time, but he added another sum to the amount we discussed and gave it to his mother every month. "As a result, my mother-in-law came over and made my house a mess. My husband quarreled with me every three to five times, and I was in a bad mood. However, my husband gave me no less than a penny a month. This amount can already be used as a good nanny!"! At least the babysitter is not doing well, can I still not! Grandma always embarrasses me. What can I do!

My husband doesn't understand me at all. He only sees his mother. He can't see what I do. My mother-in-law brings a bowl to clean the table. He thinks his mother is tired. What about me? "I keep turning like a top every day, and he can't see it, and he can't even argue with me. I can't even say anything now. If I do, I may offend my mother-in-law. She will wipe the corners of her eyes in front of her son, and who will be shown the grievance!"!

Teacher, I am really tired like this. For the past six months, I have been feeling very uncomfortable every minute and every second. I dare not imagine that such days will continue forever, and my body and spirit will be overwhelmed. I just want to know what the husband's family really means? "My father-in-law has been separated from her mother-in-law for so long, and he doesn't ask her to go back. It can be seen that my mother-in-law is so annoying that even my father-in-law can't stand her.". "I'm just afraid of making trouble like this again. I'll divorce my husband sooner or later!"!

Answer:

So, don't ask your mother-in-law to take care of the baby in the first place.

Anticipated conflicts should be avoided as much as possible, rather than taking chances and believing that you can handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as well as the relationship between husband and wife. Even if your attitude can be peaceful, it is difficult for your husband to maintain a level playing field. In many families where mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a bad relationship, the fundamental reason is that men themselves cannot coordinate the identities of their sons and husbands. Without exception, they either stand idly by during the war between their wives and mothers, or pretend to be deaf and dumb, or assist their mother-in-law in causing their wives to complain of hardship.

What is the attitude that can solve the problem? Men need to understand that the family is centered around two members, and small families must be separated from the influence of their original family. After marriage, they should be closer to their wives, and their care and care for their families should not be excessive. Parents, whether male or female, should not be allowed to interfere excessively in the decisions and choices of small families. In this way, the relationship between husband and wife can be harmonious.

After spending half a year together, you have become inwardly disgusted with your mother-in-law and are eager to "drive" her out of your small home. Note that this mindset will be reflected in your words and deeds, which will touch the bottom line of your husband. No matter when, don't speak ill of your mother-in-law, and don't play tricks on her in front of her husband. Try to get the husband to accept it from a different perspective, such as feeling that it's hard for Mom to take care of us like this, having no family or friends here, worrying that Mom feels lonely, and so on.

If you are still unable to understand the skills of dialogue between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you can contact us for more specific assistance.