I grew up in a single parent family, and my parents divorced when I was young. I lived with my father, and in order to avoid any injustice, he never remarried. He also had a woman of his own, and he endured it for me. Dad speaks little but treats me well. He taught me from a young age to be upright and kind, so that I can marry a good family in the future. Due to a single parent family, I have developed an independent personality since childhood. In terms of life, I do not let my father worry and am very independent.
At the age of twenty, when I was in college, I couldn't accompany my father. I advised him to find a companion, but he compromised and married a divorced middle-aged woman. Although I suggested it, I still feel uneasy with a strange woman at home. After graduating from college, I came out to explore and met my current husband at work. He was very kind and considerate to me. I have been lonely since childhood and particularly admire freedom. My husband listens to me very much and has no demands on me. After being in love for a year, I married him.
He is an only child, and his parents are already old. We have been living together since we got married. Due to the lack of maternal love since childhood, I kept my mother-in-law in awe. At home, my parents-in-law doesn't let me take care of everything, they prepare breakfast and dinner for us, and they don't let me do household chores. When I first entered the door, I felt so happy that all the maternal love I lost when I was a child was made up for by my mother-in-law. However, behind happiness, people are always disappointed.
My mother-in-law's behavior habits make me very scared. She often eavesdrops on us, ranging from my private conversations with my husband to our sexual affairs. That night, my husband and I were getting intimate when we suddenly had a stomachache. I ran outside to go to the bathroom and it took me a few minutes to solve it. I think my mother-in-law heard the commotion. I came out of the bathroom and she obediently listened on the door.
I was very depressed at the time and asked her what she was doing. She was really startled, and then calmly said she heard the noise, came out to take a look, and walked back to her room as if nothing had happened. I didn't think much at first. Seeing her reaction clearly being intentional, I felt a burst of anger in my heart. Returning to the room, my husband wanted to continue intimacy. I pointed to the door and whispered a few words in his ear. My husband looked indifferent and said he didn't need to worry about her, he couldn't hear anything.
After listening to my husband's words, I immediately became angry and completely lost interest in sex. That night, we had a cold war all night because of our mother-in-law's situation. The next day, I asked my husband to talk about my mother-in-law. He said he couldn't open his mouth and asked me to speak on my own. As my daughter-in-law, how can I speak up about such things? Since then, I have become paranoid. At night, when the couple were in high spirits, I felt my mother-in-law eavesdropping on the door. And I really guessed it. Several times when I suddenly opened the door, she stumbled and almost fell. I looked at her husband, who always had a very calm expression.
After a long time, I have been feeling a bit depressed all over. I don't have energy during the day, I have insomnia at night, and my husband always looks indifferent. I suggested living separately, but he firmly said it's impossible and didn't try to solve this problem. I have only been married for six months, and the mental torment has left me unbearable. A few days ago, I packed my bags and went back to my mother's house. My husband didn't even bother me and let my temper go. I am not comfortable staying at my mother's house and dare not explain to my father the true reason for returning. I have no words to say about my stepmother, and I am particularly distressed. I don't know what to do now?
Reply from Weiqing Consultant:
Hello. The problem with mother-in-law's blatant listening lies with your husband. If he uses reason to stop her bad behavior early, the future will definitely not happen again. The purpose of mother-in-law's attendance may be twofold: firstly, to inquire about the secrets between you, and secondly, to have grandchildren. If she blindly ignores and doesn't ask, she will feel that her behavior is not a big deal and will continue to execute. Your parents are divorced, and it's not easy for you to tell your father about this situation. Your husband is angry and doesn't understand, which can be very harmful to your marriage in the long run.
If you feel embarrassed, you can first do a good job of your husband's ideological work and let him persuade his mother-in-law about this behavior. As a son, one can have their own ideas and suggestions for such matters. It's really difficult for him to speak up. Find a suitable opportunity to have a heart-to-heart conversation with his mother-in-law. Don't keep deadlocked and shivering, it won't be good for both of you and your wife.