Post Date December, 03 2023
Seeing that others are always looking for you to talk, I also want to tell you my story, but I have tried many times and have never crossed the threshold in my heart. Today, I muster the greatest courage to write my story anonymously. Please don't blame me because I don't want people to know my real name. I think it's humiliating to be involved in such a thing.
I am an ordinary person from Guizhou. Last year, I married my husband. We are all post-80s generation. After marriage, life is still calm. At least there were no waves. But what makes me sick about this feeling is that I always lose my underwear frequently. It is OK for a man to be an ordinary worker. The consumption level of our place is enough to support a family. Men have not been healthy since childhood, and their abilities in that area are not too strong. I worked hard to cooperate with him on the wedding night, but in the end, I finished the work in a hurry. As for later, we seldom cleared away heat.
He feels guilty about these things. I don't think it's anything. Because I also feel that these are dispensable things, as long as we live happily together, I don't think too much. But what makes me angry is that I have been losing my underwear frequently since I got married. I once told him about this matter. He said that the public security in the countryside was not good, and then he kept me off, and finally he could not finish it. I have begun to believe what he said, because I also know that the security in this place where we live is really not good.
Every month I lost my underwear. I was very angry. I asked him to change the door many times, but he said he was too busy to do this. So I can only try to take back the underwear I washed in the evening. But even if you hang your underwear at home like this, it will disappear. I began to doubt the men around me.
That night, I deliberately washed the underwear I just bought and hung it in the yard, and then lay on the bed pretending to sleep. At 2 o'clock in the morning, the man got up from my side and walked out of bed. Then he opened the door quietly and went out, still looking back at me. I saw him go out and get out of bed and walk to the window to look out through the gap in the curtain. Surprised, the man reached out and took off my underwear, and then went straight to the toilet.
I opened the door and walked quietly to the toilet... I saw a scene that I will never forget in my life. That scene was so disgusting that I really wanted to vomit. The man uses my underwear as a tool and keeps on... His mouth still moans from time to time. I was dizzy for the first time. I couldn't believe what was happening in front of me.
After half an hour, he returned to bed and saw that I was still in bed. He lay down and fell asleep. I never fell asleep that night. I thought of my lost underwear and the scene that just happened before my eyes. I have tears in my eyes.
That's what happened. I'm always embarrassed to say it. My man stole my underwear and did such things. What should I do? Shall I leave him?
(Intern editor: Cai Junyi)
