My husband is a university teacher, and discovering his shameless secrets with female students made me sick

My husband and I have known each other for 10 years tomorrow. We have been married for 5 years and have a very lovely son. He is over 4 years old this year and he is a university teacher.

Last year before the Chinese New Year, I found out that he and one of his female students often contacted each other. At that time, I had already reminded him not to engage in ambiguity. He replied to me that they had nothing until I saw their contact records.

I checked his phone call list on the second day of the Lunar New Year and found that even after I reminded him, they were still in contact. On February 9th, I called the female student, who did not deny their situation. However, the female student said that they had not been in contact for many days (the phone call list was indeed until January 29th). The female student said that she knew it was not right to do so because considering my identity, I did not scold the female student and instead chatted with her on the phone very kindly.

I learned from the female student that my husband said it's not good here, it's not right there... Suddenly, I felt like we've been together for 10 years, but it's not as good as a female student who has known each other for over a month. The female student said they rarely meet, but he bought the girl something (less than 300 yuan), invited her to eat, watched movies, and even sent her a WeChat red envelope (52, 13.14). When I think of these things, I feel very nauseous

Although he really hasn't contacted that female student anymore, I always think of what he said to her. I really feel disgusted. The female student is only 20 years old, and my husband is 35 years old.

What should I do now?

reply:

1. Any marriage will have a period of aesthetic fatigue, and it is inevitable for couples to lose their freshness after being together for a long time, especially after experiencing the trivial baptism of daily life, where more and more shortcomings are constantly exposed in mutual accommodation and life, leading to a gradual decline in the intimate relationship between couples. At this time, facing external temptation and attraction from the opposite sex, it is easy to lure the besieged people into irrational behavior, Make actions that harm your marriage and partner.

2. From the current situation, it is evident that your husband is wandering and drifting between normal marriage and extramarital affairs. He is very close to infidelity, and even on the brink of infidelity, only one established fact is missing. During this process, you did a good job, not choosing to cry, make trouble, or even go into hysteria like most women do. In the face of men's thoughts and feelings, women should maintain a rational and calm attitude. They should not only be aware of the seriousness of the problem, but also take an optimistic view of it, think more about methods, complain less and vent anger, and learn to self reflect and examine the crux of marriage problems.

3. Men, as a species, always have a nature of liking the new and hating the old. This is a weakness of human nature. If this fact cannot be changed, we can only find more ways to stimulate their moral improvement, stimulate their sense of family responsibility, and praise their outstanding side. Men like to receive a sense of admiration from women and are more fond of those little birds who rely on others and make good use of gentle women. So, women need to know where their men's weaknesses lie, identify the key points, strive to break through, and not give them any chance to fight back.

4. As the original first wife, you should never compare yourself to young girls in terms of youth and beauty. You can never compare yourself to them in this aspect. You need to showcase your unique charm, such as elegance, virtue, taste, tenderness, and understanding. If you can achieve that you are charming and exude unique charm, you will not lose to any woman. Especially in conversations with the third party, do not show your hysteria, but rather release your elegance and magnanimity, making the third party feel inferior and will eventually retreat completely.

5. In fact, your problem should not be too big, and your husband is only temporarily drifting in the field of love. After all, it has not yet reached the level of "car damage and death", so you don't need to be too nervous and entangled. Be full of confidence in your relationship. With your husband's knowledge and cultivation, he will not easily fall in love with a young girl. He is only momentarily tempted by her young youth. As long as you handle this process appropriately, preserve enough face for your husband, and then promptly correct and repair your marriage relationship, your husband will definitely return to your embrace.