Hello, I have a marriage with some problems. I hope you can help me analyze it. Well, I am 32 years old and my husband is 34 years old. We have been married for 6 years and have a 5-year-old daughter. We were colleagues, and we were introduced by colleagues as matchmakers and then got married.
After marriage, the relationship between husband and wife has always been very good. He will give me all the money he makes. He is also responsible for me and the children at home. I can do all the housework at home, and of course I do too. But he is not as macho as other men. He can also understand the pressure in my work. It can be said that he has some things to think of for me, so I still quite approve of him.
A year ago, I found such a thing that we had no privacy before. Now, I feel that he has changed a little. I used to think that he is very good to children. Now sometimes he has no patience with children, and he still yells with them, and he has little communication with me, not as much as before. I found that he was always holding the phone. One day when I was cooking, I looked at his mobile phone and found his chat record. I was chatting with a girl. It seems that they have been chatting for a long time. At the beginning of the conversation, they are talking about nothing, and it can be seen that they have met. After that, the chat became somewhat ambiguous. For example, my husband said that I smelled your perfume and hoped that one day you could taste the dishes I cooked. He also told the girl that you didn't need to lose weight and that you weren't fat. I didn't feel heavy behind your back. He also told the girl that I really wanted to wait for you.
I was very sad when I found these things. I didn't expect my husband to be like this. Now I am very confused when facing this matter. Every time I see my husband, I feel that the image of my model husband that he brought to me before is gone. I feel that he is also very hypocritical. I don't know what to do? I didn't talk about it with my husband, but I just hinted at him. One day I said that my husband and I should play a game. We should write about each other's 20 advantages, and then he soon finished.
I wrote what I wanted to say in the middle. I said that you must not cheat physically, and you must be a good example for men. After reading this sentence I wrote, he sent me a message in the evening, saying that you don't need to say that I understand my wife. Later, when I looked at his mobile phone again, he put the password on his chat software. Then I still felt uncomfortable. After a week or so, when I looked at his mobile phone again, he completely deleted the software. I felt that he did a good job, but now my problem is that I can't get over it. I don't know if my husband is cheating? What's more, we wanted to have a second child as planned. Can I still have one now?
1. Personally, as far as human nature is concerned, the so-called good men are just those who haven't done anything bad yet. Everyone can change, but some people become better and better, while others may become worse and worse. As far as your husband is concerned, his performance after marriage has always satisfied you, presenting you with the perfect image of a wonderful man. However, no matter how perfect a man is, it is inevitable that he will have a desertion. It is precisely because your husband is too dutiful in front of you. Once you find out that he is changing his mind, you can't bear the difference between the front and the back.
2. However, you need to understand that men's infidelity is not the same as their infidelity. Some are impulsive, some are willful indulgence; As for the attitude after the derailment, some can be reconciled in time, and some can not change after repeated teaching. In terms of your husband's previous performance, he is not bad in terms of his good home life in those years after marriage, and he also knows how to make a timely convergence under your guidance.
3. Here, I should praise you for your intelligence and wisdom. Your intelligence lies in that after discovering that your husband has a hint of cheating, you did not put on a cry, make a fuss, and hang up three times. Instead, you implicitly chose a clever reminder to save your husband enough face and let him reflect on himself. Of course, this way is more suitable for men who have strong self-esteem, are smart enough, love face, and have a sense of self-discipline. It would be difficult to work against men who are not afraid of boiling water.
4. Of course, whether this man can completely relax or not still needs time for the final test. Don't think that he has removed a social software from his mobile phone, which means that he must return to the right track. As for your heart, you can only learn to let go. There are no problems that can't be solved. With your intelligence, I think you can make your heart stronger enough and focus more on marriage management. Your problem is not serious. Because your husband doesn't seem to be the master of his own dignity, face and marriage. Be nice to him, let yourself be fresh, and give him a gentle knife when necessary.
5. As for the matter of having a second child, you can't consider it in this case. Even if your husband asks for it on his own initiative, you can also use this opportunity to check and balance him. Tell him that you are hurt now and need time to heal with your lover. You don't have enough confidence in the future of marriage. How can you have the mood and preparation to have a child, so as to urge him to treat marriage well, pay attention to his wife and children, and fulfill his responsibilities, Give up completely.