My husband dislikes me for being overweight and divorced, but he is abandoned by a third party and wants to return to his family

We have been married for seven years and our child is five years old. Two years ago, our husband divorced and separated due to infidelity. The child belongs to me, the house belongs to me, and he moves out to live with the third child. Speaking of his affair is a shame to me. When I found out that he was cheating, the reason he gave me was "your body is too scary, I have no sexual desire as fat". I feel that my personality has been insulted, and I did not hesitate to agree to divorce him on the condition that only one child belongs to me. He cherishes his children, leaves the house to me, takes away his savings, and regularly pays me for raising my children every month.

I was two years older than him when I first fell in love with him. I didn't think much of a sibling relationship and couldn't bear his hard and soft compromises. It only took us 7 years from getting married and having children to getting divorced. He swore in front of everyone at the wedding: 'Guard me for the rest of my life.'. Now thinking about it is just a fleeting moment, a piece of empty talk. I originally thought there would be no more emotional intersection between us, but I didn't expect him to take the initiative to remarry me after three months of divorce.

He played a bitter game in front of me, begging me to forgive him: after parting, he missed me and the child too much, so much that he couldn't control himself in front of his lover, causing her to misunderstand, and the two of them often argued and disagreed. In fact, I am also very clear in my heart that I have heard about the frequent arguments between them since they lived together. I just heard that it was a third party who had a new love and abandoned him. It's not like he said that it was because he missed us that he caused a misunderstanding with her. In addition, he apologized to me, saying that he had made a mistake and shouldn't have said things like that to stimulate me, let alone despise my appearance. Now he wants to come back and live with me and the child, and he says, 'Couple or original match is better'!

I am a person with soft ears and cannot see others begging me. I agreed to let him stay at home, but I still need to consider the matter of remarriage. After all, he betrayed me and made me easily forgive him, which I cannot do. The current situation is that, apart from sleeping in different rooms, he commutes to and from work every day without doing any household chores. He gets emotional every few days, just like before his divorce. Sometimes when I calm down, I wonder why I have to live such a life. It was clearly him who made a mistake, and I still have to serve him now. This order seems to be reversed. Yesterday he talked to me about remarriage again, and I hesitated. Is there any need for remarriage in such a situation?

Reply from Weiqing Consultant:

Hello. From your description, it can be seen that you are too concerned about your husband. He used to describe you as' fat, he has no sexual desire ', but now that he has softened, you can also accept him, which shows his weight in your heart. When a third party has a new partner, it is also a thrill for your husband. He can also feel that the couple is still the original match, and taking this into account can also be considered as his enlightenment. However, if you accept him back home, except that sleeping in separate rooms can prove that you haven't remarried, everything else remains the same. It has to be said that his bad habits are something you have become accustomed to.

Marriage is a matter of two people, and it cannot be sustained by one person. If he wants to remarry, he must abide by your rules and do his own things. Since he wants the marriage to be revived, he must rectify his bad habits, otherwise over time, he will make the same mistakes in the marriage. In addition, marriage is ultimately a feeling of love, a mutual attraction in temperament. Therefore, improving one's self-cultivation and temperament, giving each other a different visual experience, and mutual attraction can make a marriage lasting.