When I first met my husband, he was very handsome and a programmer in the company. There are many pursuers around us. We work on an eight hour schedule, and the company's employees are relatively punctual when they leave work. Basically, there is no one around the clock. When I first joined the company, I didn't stay up all night with a lot of business knowledge. As an old employee of the company, my husband often explained some knowledge to me, which was very approachable.
I stay for a little while after work every day to summarize the day's work. He sometimes has the habit of working overtime. We have had a lot of contact and become familiar with each other quickly. I always think he has a good impression of me, but I'm even more embarrassed to ask if he doesn't say anything. That night, we finished work together and met his friend. Without their knowledge, they asked, "Is this my sister-in-law.
Faced with the pursuit of a handsome man, I certainly cannot bear to refuse. After several attempts, we have confirmed our relationship. Subsequently, they met with each other's parents and set a wedding date. On the day of his wedding, he knelt down and said heartwarming words to me. In the first three years of our marriage, our relationship developed very well and we had the crystallization of our love. My mother-in-law is not well and has high blood pressure. I am worried about her health, so I stayed at home to take care of them. Romantic emotions develop into daily necessities, and our common topics become less and less common.
Last year, he kept working overtime and sometimes stayed out. I was afraid that he had an extramarital affair, and repeatedly hinted at him, but he pretended to be deaf and mute and didn't reply to me. Until I saw him and a woman in our car, hugging and kissing, located downstairs of their company. I caught them on the spot and cursed them like crazy, crying about my efforts over the years and the difficulty of our relationship. He had a conscience and decisively severed ties with a third party, returning to his family.
However, as he returned, my heart began to feel uneasy. Worried about him having another affair all day, and his mental state became abnormal. I cannot monitor someone outside, only by checking their phone can I detect any clues. At first, he was willing to let me see his phone, but facing my daily investigation, he became increasingly impatient.
His impatience, in my eyes, is like a ghost in my heart. The more anxious I am, the more unstable my emotions become. Sometimes, I feel so anxious that I cry. I have to check his phone every day to sleep with peace of mind. In the end, he couldn't bear it and broke out. When I was carefully checking my phone, he grabbed it and smashed it into a mess, shouting, "Divorce, I can't stand you, you're just a madwoman!! After finishing speaking, he turned around and left. A week has passed and he hasn't even contacted me proactively.
A few days ago, I received a call from his friend, saying that my husband is staying at their house and is drunk all day. He cursed himself for not being human and not looking for women outside. He also cursed himself for marrying a crazy wife. Teacher, what should I do? This kind of marriage is simply torture each other. Can I continue?
Reply from Weiqing Consultant:
Your relationship had already broken down when you caught him cheating. He repented and cut off the unwanted extramarital affair. You forgave him on the lips, but your heart was constantly entangled. From checking his phone every day, you can see the weight of your heart's knot. Everyone has their own privacy space, and you constantly flip through their phones, occasionally still able to understand.
But you have taken it as a task to conduct routine checks every day, so that he is transparent in front of you and has no personal space. If he goes on like this, his spirit will be strained, and smashing his phone is venting his dissatisfaction. He ran away from home, and you were sad and tearful. I'm sure this wasn't the result you wanted. Suggest finding him back and communicating well. Life still needs to go on. Since you have chosen to forgive, you should have an attitude and not mistrust him. The more sensitive you appear, the more disrespectful your marriage will become, and it will only lead to disintegration in the end.