My husband betrayed me before marriage, but after marriage, he always scolded me and watched pornographic videos every day. What should I do

Reader's Letter:

My husband and I were high school classmates, sitting at the front and back tables. At that time, we didn't talk until I graduated from college and he came to my city. Maybe he was empty for a while, added me to the group, chatted, and then got together. He was married for 2 years. During this period, it can be said that he didn't chase me very much because we both had boyfriend and girlfriend before, and it was time for us to get married. Therefore, we naturally got together. After being together, we may have different personalities and often get emotional about small things. Then he carried me on a business trip to find a woman. Later, I found out that he fell in love with a married woman again. Later, I had a period and was lying in bed with a stomachache, He actually wanted to leave me and go out to find a woman. I felt something was wrong, and as he was about to leave, I caught him off guard, but he didn't succeed.

Later, perhaps it was really hard to give up, perhaps because we were unwilling, so we got married. After getting married, he promised not to do anything wrong to me, but I still couldn't let go of it. I often had nightmares and cried wrongfully when I woke up. He asked me what was going on, and then I told him. I dreamt that he was looking for a woman again, and he just shook his head, looking very helpless. Later on, I had such a dream again, but later on, he just scolded me for being insane, and the way he spoke was to curse others.

I have let go of his past now. However, due to various reasons and the pressure of life, he always scolds when he comes home to watch TV, scolds when he sees things that don't go his way, and speaks rudely to me like he treats a servant. He always says I'm not good, and many times I really want to get divorced. I feel that living like this is painful for both of us. The most important thing is watching pornographic things every day and chatting with beautiful women every day, He didn't even pay attention to me, feeling like he was nothing in his heart anymore, very confused.

reply:

Hello, thank you for trusting Brother Shan. To put it bluntly, your downfall to this point was the result of your own actions. A man who treated you so excessively before marriage that you dared to marry him is not responsible to yourself. The unhappiness after marriage is actually planted before marriage.

Whether before or after marriage, women should maintain their own dignity and happiness. They cannot let men act recklessly. At least they must understand how to respect and love you. Otherwise, they just use you as a vent every day to make you angry. What does such a marriage need? Of course, the premise is that we don't have any problems ourselves. We have done a great job ourselves, but the other party is not satisfied and always intends to have trouble with you. That means they don't love you enough or even hate you, so you don't need to stick a hot face to someone else's cold buttocks.

Marriage requires tolerance and understanding, but tolerance and understanding are also conditional. Everyone has a bottom line and principles for being a person. You need to be clear about where your bottom line is. When there are problems in marriage, complaining and being a resentful woman and complaining doesn't work. It can only increase the other party's boredom towards you, which will make them even more ridicule and insult you.

So, women should not be like the moon, they should be like their own sun, they should learn to shine, they should not rely on men everywhere, and it is very painful to live by looking at others' eyes. From now on, you need to learn how to love and understand love. When you love others, you also need to love yourself. Of course, you also need to reflect on your weaknesses and shortcomings. Only by improving yourself can you have the confidence to fight against others. Think carefully, where should you go? I just hope you can live with dignity and have the happiness you want.