My husband and the drinking girl have been fooling around repeatedly, which makes my heart ache

My husband cheated and repeatedly asked for forgiveness. I hope to hear your advice. My husband is a very playful man. He has been drinking and playing mahjong outside since before getting married, and it hasn't changed since then. I have never restricted his freedom, and sometimes he stays at home for a few nights just to argue. Afterwards, he often goes out until midnight and comes back. I am also used to it. After the child is born, my mother-in-law and I take care of him all the time, and he doesn't have to worry. At the end of June this year, after my friend informed me that my husband was abnormal, I went to check him. At first, I installed a recording in my car and found that a woman often went out with him until around 3am, and her conversation was also ambiguous. I firmly believe there must be a problem with this. Later, I bought GPS positioning and found out the address of that woman. My husband had been spending the night at her place while I was on a business trip. When I was at home, he came back from that woman at around three o'clock (who was a bartender at the bar and didn't go to the bar to work with him since then). At first, I didn't tell him that I knew, but instead reminded him that a friend told me he had another woman outside, and he kept denying it. Later on, I learned from GPS that he was with that woman and deliberately called to investigate the job. He was very angry and deceived me, saying that I would treat him as a prisoner for trial. On the third day, on July 12th, I deliberately ended my business trip early and came back. After he arrived at the woman's house, I went to find her. I ruined their house and he was there to say that he broke up with her and lived with me.

On July 14th, he went to work, and the woman called him for half an hour. At 18:00, his husband called the woman twice again. I checked his call records and they didn't end. On July 16th, I asked him again if he had any contact, and he said no, but I had a falling out at the time. He said that she couldn't find the phone numbers of some friends and wanted to call him to inquire about their breakup. I insisted on a divorce, but he didn't agree. Finally, he begged me to sign a separation agreement and not break up for the sake of the child. At that time, my heart softened and I agreed to a separation. On July 24th, after signing the separation agreement, he blushed and told my brother-in-law that the most regrettable thing he had ever done in his life was this. Later, my sister told me about this, and I thought he truly knew he was wrong. On July 25th, he went out to eat and drink with his friends. He met that woman again at the bar and told him it was very bad. His parents were sick and he had no financial means to go out to the bar to accompany him. That night, his husband went to stay with that woman again. On July 26th, I asked him again, and he admitted it, but kept saying he was wrong and will definitely change it! It was just a moment of confusion, and then he asked me how I knew, was it that woman who told me (he thought I couldn't possibly know, he thought it was that woman who wanted to destroy his family and intentionally told me about his visit), and I deliberately told him that I had agreed with her and gave her my husband, but I didn't want it anymore. When he left, he said, 'Why am I so foolish!'! In the evening, he came back and told me that he had completely broken up with her. He even called me in front of me to break up, saying that he would never contact me again in the future. I am determined to divorce.

Now he has been dragging me around, sending me a WeChat message saying that he has a stomach ache and doesn't have food to eat, pretending to be pitiful, and even asking me not to divorce him by involving his child. I am very confused now, and I don't want to have such a deceitful and untrustworthy marriage again. The fact tells me that I should divorce him, and thinking about it every night is really heartbreaking, after all, we have been in a relationship for 11 years. I don't even know what he thinks, my attitude has become so determined that he even contacted her. Is it because he has a lucky mentality, thinking that I won't know and that I will be soft hearted and not divorce; Perhaps the woman's allure was too great to be separated from; If he divorced, he wouldn't marry such a woman either. He knows exactly what woman is suitable for being a wife. His family knows everything about him, and now his family is also desperate for him and doesn't want to worry about him anymore. He himself is also afraid of having nothing, and he has been dragging me on. I really don't know what to do?

reply:

The reason why your husband cheated and became sexually active after marriage is because you did not contain it before marriage, which is actually the result of your indulgence. Although you have excellent methods of catching traitors, what about being caught by you now? You still don't want to forgive him. What is the use of signing a separation agreement? Your separation from him is exactly what he wants, and after that, he will have more opportunities to hang out with that woman. You said you were determined to divorce, but I didn't see how determined you were.

You know your husband is just hanging out with a worldly woman, and you know he won't marry that woman, so you still want to wait or give him the opportunity to change his ways. But what if a man becomes sexually promiscuous and doesn't know how to repent? Are you waiting endlessly?

Speaking of which, why does your husband repeatedly not repent? He knows your bottom line, he sees through you. If you don't really give him some color to see, he will definitely repeat his old tricks, which is indisputable. If you don't believe it, you'll see. For a man who is unrepentant, lacks self-control, and doesn't keep his words, you really don't need to waste time on him. After careful persuasion and various warnings, if he is still afraid of boiling water, then you have nothing to leave behind. The only thing you need to do is to make sure you have made up your mind.

Don't worry about him dragging you down. This is not a problem. If you don't want to be cheap and really want to leave this scumbag, you can sue for divorce unilaterally. There is no need to argue with him. The key is what you think in your own heart, whether you are really prepared for divorce, whether you can firmly believe that you will live better after divorce than now. If you think so, why should you feel wronged and let yourself endure the humiliation?!