Post Date December, 03 2023
I am 46 years old this year. When my child was 3 years old, I made an unforgivable mistake. I cheated. It took less than a month from the contact with my lover to the end, and then my husband and I divorced. After the divorce, I didn't leave home for a day because my child was small. We lived together all the time, and my husband began to have women. I never asked. My husband broke up a little bit after a long time. In 2010, we went through the formalities of remarriage and had a good life.
At the beginning of this year, my husband suddenly filed a divorce with me. Without leaving, he filed a lawsuit in court. This time, he had a mistress. After the lawsuit, he spent three months with the mistress. On July 4, because neither my father-in-law nor my mother-in-law agreed to our divorce, my husband withdrew the lawsuit in the court. My father-in-law also separated my husband from my mistress, and my husband returned. I live with my husband and my parents-in-law. At the beginning, my husband also had the intention to break up with my third child. But the third child never let go and didn't want her husband's money. He just wanted him. The husband went to the third child four or five times a month, but when he went back, I would tell him about it. My husband didn't want to. I can only ask you for help now. Look at this situation, what should I do?
In fact, sometimes I don't want to talk with him, but I can't control it.
reply:
In marriage, no matter how long and how many times a husband and wife cheat, it is self-evident that the damage to the relationship between husband and wife and the collapse of trust will occur. Undoubtedly, the harm of betrayal is more than any harm. For the repair and reconstruction after suffering this kind of injury, it needs not only time, but also inner strength and effort
You and your husband hurt each other and degenerated each other. In fact, there was no winner in the end. And the cause of this marriage disaster is you. Because your impulse, muddle and muddle will cast an indelible shadow on a good marriage. Not only you but also your children, parents and family will suffer. Is it more than worth the loss.
For this reason, I advise those married men and women who lack a sense of responsibility in marriage and can't stick to their marriage loyalty, not to ignore moral integrity and challenge their own bottom line of life, because they are greedy for temporary pleasure, for their own selfish desire, and ignore the harm of their other half and the whole family members, to self-indulgence and degeneration, and ultimately can only harm others and themselves, and destroy the great life and the future of themselves. You should know that all evils and obscenities are the first, and many disastrous and destructive outcomes begin with lust derailment and betrayal. Extreme cases in this regard can be said to be filled with mass media every day, hoping to arouse people's vigilance and reflection.
As far as your current situation is concerned, you can only say that you suffered from your own mistakes. Because you could not keep yourself clean, your husband retaliated against you equally. In addition to expressing your dissatisfaction with your husband, you dare to express your anger in other ways. I'm afraid you can't because you know that you have insufficient confidence, because you have made mistakes first. Therefore, I can only endure my husband's blatant fooling with the mistress, but there is nothing I can do.
I'm afraid I can't help you if you ask me for help, even if it's a good word to comfort you, I may only give you cold words and heartless blows. In fact, I don't want to wield the moral stick. I just want to say that the happiness and stability of marriage need to start from ourselves, need to demonstrate by example, need to take the initiative, and need to cherish. I hope that from now on, you can start from yourself, no matter how your marriage will go in the future, insist on being yourself, be yourself, improve yourself, and then demand and restrain the other party. If your husband insists on not making changes, or hold on to your past; If you don't want to share your husband with your mistress, you don't have to endure such a life. You can make the choice you want. In a word, you have to bear the trouble you have caused, and you have to accept the punishment for the bitter fruit you planted. If you can't change the other party, you can only change yourself.
