Mom got liver cancer from the third child's anger, where is our mother and daughter's way out

Q:

The most despairing thing is to find out that the man who loves himself is not worthy of the status of a father. When he held a third child who is about my age in his arms, I don't know if he still remembers being my father.

Since childhood, my father has always been my male god, and he never seems to get old. In my memory, he has always been an elegant and charming man. If a man with manners is the most handsome, I think he deserves it. My father is really a perfect man, so I can't accept it no matter how or how. Such a good father would actually harm me and my mother.

My mother endured it for many years until I returned home the summer before last, and she only talked to me in detail. She said that my mother wanted a divorce, and my first reaction was unbelievable. I didn't understand what was wrong with my parents because my father's love for my mother had always been indifferent. Although they wouldn't be as happy as some of my classmates and parents to talk about everything together, they weren't the kind of couple who would argue when they met.

But I know my mother well, she wouldn't make such a sudden decision. It can be seen that at first, she still wanted to protect her father. But it couldn't withstand my repeated questioning. At that time, I naively thought that it was just a conflict, perhaps an angry remark, perhaps not the final decision. As a daughter, I could save this family. Until my mother roughly told me everything - I really couldn't recall my feelings on that day, the feeling that the whole world was falling, and all the previous worship, trust, and admiration for my father were destroyed by his actions.

Originally, my mother endured her father for twenty years.

It turned out that during my mother's pregnancy, my father had already been with a female subordinate.

It turns out that the image of a good father for so many years is all disguised by the cooperation of his mother.

It turns out that my elegant father's romantic debts have never been broken one after another.

Originally, my busy father didn't have much time to spend with my mother and me. Every Valentine's Day, he spent it with other women.

Upon learning the truth, I asked a question that must have hurt my mother's heart. I asked, Mom, why didn't you divorce him so long ago?

My mother didn't reply at the time, just looked at me, that look was too heartbreaking. Yes, if it weren't for me, why did she have to endure all these years?

And what made me even more sad was that my mother was already numb and had turned a blind eye to having a home outside of my father's house. It was the hospital's diagnosis that made her make the divorce decision.

She has been diagnosed with liver cancer, how can she not care about her husband playing with women and having sex outside for so many years? My mother's illness was caused by anger.

My mother's family is in good health. My grandmother is 80 years old and has no diabetes. Only occasionally, her blood pressure is high and her blood sugar has been normal. My family has a long life. There is no cancer in my family. My mother had to go to the hospital for surgery before she could tell me about the matter. She said that she had planned to live like this, as long as you were happy, but now that my body is like this, if I live with your father again

My mother didn't say everything later, and we both cried like a ball. I understand that my mother doesn't want to be angry anymore, and my father has no regrets. My mother only came to visit her once when she was admitted to the hospital. I heard it was curable, so I wasn't nervous at all, just told me not to worry about the cost of the surgery. He doesn't even know that I already know his true face. I hate him, but he even joked and asked, 'Who offended our little princess?' He gritted his teeth.

He doesn't deserve to be my father! I can't accept him! I only want my mother to recover her health now. After the surgery, my mother recovered quite well. After more than a year, all her physical indicators were improving, but I didn't hear about her divorce afterwards. I tried to persuade her several times, but she always sighed and said to think again. It's because my mother is too soft and talkative that my father doesn't take her as a wife seriously! I really love my mother, I hate her so much. Why do good people suffer from this kind of crime instead? What about those mistresses? Why didn't they harm someone else's family and nothing happened?

Answer:

The drastic changes in your family have led to extreme views. It is understandable that you want to maintain the mother's mood, but the behavior of parents as children is not suitable for judgment.

You don't understand why after so many years, my mother chose to endure. Divorce is not just about two people sitting down and signing a letter to break up peacefully. If a family that has already been formed needs to be dismantled, all aspects involved are complex. You are a well protected child, and your mother wants you to grow up in a healthy family. For this reason, she sacrificed some of the happiness she should have as a wife. This is not an isolated case. Many wives, despite ineffective persuasion and useless arguments, have gone through a cold and long cold war. Husbands remain the same, seeking beauty and mistresses. They have no choice but to accept such a marital state. At that time, there was no choice but to give time, but it only proved that if the spouse cheated and procrastinated, the marital status would not naturally improve. And due to years of bad mood, depression, and being in a state of disappointment, health is also invisibly compromised. If your wish is for your mother to recover as soon as possible, you should avoid mentioning the divorce again and evoke her sad memories. Children should not interfere with their parents' decisions. No matter how their marriage progresses or where they take it, you cannot force your mother to make a decision solely based on your own aversion towards your father after learning the truth.

The misfortunes of marriage cannot be concealed. Don't deceive yourself, let alone your children. If you are not happy, you must find a way. Extramarital affairs are like a stubborn illness in marriage - not incurable, but if left untreated, it is bound to be painful.