Men must know how to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, these two words together will make people feel very unreasonable. In China, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law always have contradictions, which makes male friends in a dilemma. One is the mother who raised herself and the other is his beloved wife. To properly handle the relationship between them, we should pay more attention to male emotional knowledge. So, how do men handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

For husbands who don't want to be trapped, if they want to have the deep love of their mother and the warm love of their wife at the same time, take a good look at this ten precepts!

First, don't have the concept of "all parents in the world"

Many husbands seem to have this idea and like to put it on their lips to show their respect for their parents and "filial piety". Especially after the wife has been wronged by her mother, the frequency of this sentence is the highest. She knows that her mother is wrong, but she only dare to say to her wife, "There is no wrong parent in the world. If she is wrong, she is also my mother. Please bear it more!"! So the wives had no place to vent their resentment and had to weep secretly. Women in this kind of family, because they are not protected by their husbands, their love for their husbands will gradually fade until they are disappointed in marriage. Some may escape from marriage, and some may turn from forbearance to counterattack, eventually leaving everyone in this relationship scarred.

Second, from the wedding day, please take the initiative to wean yourself

After every woman gets married, she hopes that the man she entrusted to her for life can grow up and be responsible for supporting her family. But many men forget the role change and always think that they are still parents' babies. The most obvious sign is that they don't want to live alone with their parents. His most grandiose reason is: I want to take care of my parents! The man who still lives with his parents after marriage has not changed much since before marriage, because he knows that when he is with his mother, his mother is reluctant to let him do housework, and his wife dare not assign housework to him in front of his mother. Or, just like before marriage, he lives a life of clothes, hands, and food. Only two women are busy for him, where can he do something for his mother?

Third, don't be afraid to be labeled "unfilial" by others and lose the principle of being a man, and follow the orders of parents only

Under the influence of thousands of years of feudal thought in China, "filial piety" has become a supreme virtue and the most powerful shackle of the patriarchal society, so some people have concocted the story of "twenty-four filial piety", which attracts the filial sons and grandchildren of the world to follow suit. If a person is accused of being unfilial, it is just as unforgivable as the crime of ten evils. But this "filial piety" is different from the law, and there is no clear standard, so it has become the most easily used by parents to suppress their children's big hat. As long as the children do not listen to themselves, or slightly contradict their own opinions, the parents will cry and scold: You are not filial, I raise you in vain! Men who cherish their reputation often feel thunderous when they hear such accusations. Therefore, in order to maintain their "reputation" of "filial piety", men often give up their principles of life, right and wrong are not clear, good or bad. Especially in the case of conflict between the wife and the mother, the wife is considered to be the responsibility of the wife without asking any questions, and helps the parents to blame the wife. In this case, men do not stand on a just position to maintain family harmony, but blindly ask their wives to endure humiliation and compromise to maintain the apparent peace of the family.

Fourth, please take the initiative to help your wife integrate into her family, rather than helping her family exclude her

After marriage, when a woman enters a completely unfamiliar environment, she will inevitably feel at a loss and naturally develop a sense of defense. In this family, only her husband is the closest person to her, and some behaviors of other people in her husband's family, although they may not be malicious subjectively, will be considered by her to hurt her. At this time, it is necessary to be a good communication bridge for her husband. Please do not blindly accuse her of "sensitive, careless, and small-minded...", which will only make the distance between her wife and her family become farther and farther, Finally, she was excluded from the family.

Fifth, if your mother and wife complain about each other in front of you, please don't make a microphone

As the saying goes, "the man who can cheat at both ends and the man who can't cheat at both ends" is extremely smart. He can not only skillfully eliminate the dissatisfaction of two women with each other, but also please each other for the two women, so that the two women can increase mutual affection and promote the harmony between their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The man passed on from both sides is very stupid. Many mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have no big conflicts at all, but only small frictions. But after the man in the middle communicates, the small frictions will also produce "big sparks", making the conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law extremely sharp and complex. In addition, some women are too small, and will therefore form "bridges" that will never be solved, The final result is to put the man who delivers the message into deep water.

The man who passed the message from both sides may not like to pass the message. Maybe his intention is good. He wants two women to change some habits or ideas that are dissatisfied with each other, but he may not realize that when two women hear their mother-in-law (daughter-in-law)'s dissatisfaction with themselves from his mouth, they will think: mother-in-law (daughter-in-law) speaks ill of me behind her back in front of her husband (son)! - Please think with your head, who would like to speak ill of yourself behind your back?

(Intern editor: Zhao Minqing)