Netizens confide:
I have been dating my boyfriend for six years and I really want to get married. However, whenever I mention marriage to him, he says he needs to stay calm and think more clearly. He said he loves me very much, but he just graduated from graduate school, has no house or car, and his career is in its infancy. He doesn't want to marry me for nothing like this.
But I don't care about these. Once my love is given, it can never be retrieved. I can slowly adapt to it and change myself, but I don't want to wait fruitlessly.
Last week, I talked to him about getting married again, but he flew into a rage and slammed the door, leaving me crying alone in the room. What should I do now, with my heart in turmoil?
Experts
A man who says he loves you all day long, but always procrastinates on his wedding date. What is he thinking in his heart?
The first factor is personality. Some men often hesitate and hesitate when doing things in their daily lives. This personality is manifested in their emotions, which is that they are very cautious when dealing with marriage. They say that they love you easily and say it when sending flowers or going to bed. However, when facing marriage, that man immediately becomes as cautious as gold. He will find a lot of reasons for both "get married" and "not get married" options, and then fight each other, unable to determine the outcome. If you happen to be not a dominant woman, then your marriage will be difficult to conceive.
Secondly, you may only be one of his choices. For some men, they are unwilling to get married early because they are still observing. He wants to constantly try and find the woman who truly suits him. Some men often say, "It's easy to find a girlfriend, but you must be cautious when finding a wife." This is because of the mentality of shopping in the supermarket.
Finally, the impact of the overall environment makes people feel helpless. The mentality of men marrying late and not wanting to get married is a product of the times. In modern society, competition is fierce, and men face great pressure to survive. The cost of marriage is also high, so many men are afraid of getting married. Moreover, the widespread phenomenon of cohabitation before marriage has greatly reduced the importance of marriage in men's minds, as men no longer need to rely on marriage to obtain sexual rights like in the past. As long as sexual needs are met, the motivation for marriage will weaken.
Men have so many reasons. As a woman, when facing a man who is unwilling to get married, do you continue to wait hard, or do you pretend to be smart and turn around and leave? You need to think calmly, what kind of man are you facing now, and what kind of marriage do you need? If he is usually a cynical man, there is no need for women to persevere. Instead, they should preserve their final dignity and reserve and leave. If he has always been a serious and responsible good man, but the economic foundation for marriage is not yet in place, then getting married in the future is okay.
However, this must be based on your mutual trust, and at the same time, do not overlook the changes that time brings to people. Men can change, and sometimes the killer of love is not infidelity, but time. You need to be cautious that as the economic foundation changes, men's feelings for you will also enter autumn. Love has a shelf life, and a woman's youth is too short to afford such a war of attrition. In fact, men are reluctant to marry you for a long time. There are not many reasons and excuses, and the only reason is one: they really don't love you enough. This is a fact, although it is cruel enough to make a woman's heart bleed.
In sexual relationships, no man cannot afford to wait, and most of the people who cannot wait are women. So, avoiding marital responsibility is generally a man's trick. As long as a man does something, he can find a reason for it, even if he falls into the toilet, he will blame the toilet for not having eyes. Women have only two choices under helplessness, either to worry that they have already put in so much and continue to wait; Either make up your mind in pain, wield your sword to cut off your love, and end it with a painful breakup.
In summary, the man who cohabits with you but refuses to give you a wedding letter is just wasting your time. If a man says' marry me, I love you ', he may be lying, but it is still a responsible expression; When a man says to you, 'I love you, but I don't want to get married,' he is not only lying, but also an extremely irresponsible man. If your man is unwilling to marry you, or has no desire to marry you at all, and still only maintains a cohabitation relationship with you after many years of love, he remains steadfast despite your literary and military struggles and the wind blowing from east, west, north and south, then please leave him! Because he is not unable to bear his family, but cannot bear his own emotions. Women, from now on, you should learn to say to your men, "Love me, rather than marry me